Read the Personals
GOLDEN GIRL – My name is Lexie. I am friendly, loving, obedient, faithful. Long walks, riding in your car, playing catch. I will wait for you at the front door every night and eat out of your hand. I am a 2-year-old golden retriever, free to a very good home. #WoofSweet
WELL-EDUCATED – Single female professor looking for friendship with older male professor. Travel, dancing, gourmet dining with wine is very important to me. Ethnicity does not matter. Must be tolerant, understanding; I hear voices, but not that often. #Lilith
BIG BERTHA – Callaway. Not able to play golf anymore – SO beautiful and you’ll never find another gorgeous driver like this one. Paid big money for her back in the old days. She’s been on all the best courses (Pinehurst/PebbleBeach). You can become part of HER history. $200 firm. #SpeedyG.
DONKEY – For Sale. $400 obo. Ceephus is his name. He is a hard worker and will pull his weight-plus. Now tell me the truth, if you live on rugged terrain, how would it be to ride your own a$$ around your property. He’s fairly quiet (most of the time). #Don-key-o-tay.
TIME TRAVEL – Hi, my name is Gary. I am 64 years old, tall, handsome, good dancer, retired. Need pretty girl dancer to accompany me to go back in time. Please wear saddle shoes, poodle skirt; bring your own snacks. Videotaping event. Will pay $200 when we return. #SpacedOut
Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist and poet, recently moved to Laguna Woods from Studio City.
Miss De Blasio once again you brought sunshine to my morning. I looked for you last week (so much so that I went to my neighborhood Gelsons to pick up a hard copy) but could not find the column!
My favorites were the “I hear voices” (I laughed out loud) one and @Don-key-o-tay.
Now don’t you let me down next week. I’ll be waiting.
Keep up the great work, young lady.
You can’t imagine how happy it makes me feel to read a comment like yours.
I can’t always hit a home run, but I try to give people a chuckle.
(As for my age — I’m probably the third oldest person in the entire world.)