Musing on the Coast

1
655

My Tribe

 

By Michael Ray
By Michael Ray

I never fit in anywhere. In high school, I was in student politics, “smart” classes, many clubs, and an early surfer. Yet I was not of any of them. I did not feel comfortable around any particular group. I felt alone, isolated.   This is not unusual for a teenager, but the feeling followed me all my life.

In college, there were fraternities, but I did not see the point. All that secret society nonsense? Huh? I liked my economics major, but not one teacher truly inspired me and the students were banal. After that, I was the So Cal chair of the “youth campaign” for a U.S. Senate race, and although the people were certainly motivated, no one believed in much except winning.

I worked for a prominent regional investment bank in downtown L.A. and thought most of the brokers were crooks (they were), the system rigged (it is), and if there was a slow-selling IPO, the bosses simply increased the commission to the brokers and voila, done deal. After one year, I got the whole covenant, I knew how the system worked, and it was depressing.

Then it was in grad school for an MBA. It was a necessary credential for jump-starting my career. It succeeded. What was then the world’s most prestigious bank hired me and I moved to New York City. My group, the young MBAs hired that year, comprised the best and brightest in America and came from the best schools. Yet they seemed disconnected, too, distracted, searching like me, and not finding it either.

Then it was back to Newport where I had inherited a small construction and development company. Most local real estate players were USC types with USC values, whose first expensive purchase was a Rolex watch. I endured it.

Two years ago I took the summer off and hung out at my local cove. Even though I’ve always been a waterman, I never hung out. I would either surf or kayak, but I did not hang out. That summer was different. Although eventually I took my water time, mostly I just hung out with the locals.

It took me less than a month to realize it; they were my tribe. They are of all ages, backgrounds, and economic status. All love the ocean. They surf, or snorkel, free dive, skin dive, kayak, SUP or sail. One guy fitted his kayak with an outboard motor and cruised all the way to Catalina and back without a chase boat.

The sole requirement for club “membership” (ha, ha) is to be nice. We share our equipment, beach chairs, umbrellas. If someone has a problem, the cove helps. It is organic, not planned. It happens. Our parties are impromptu; someone brings fresh sushi and a bottle.

Our oldest member is a former WWII pilot. One is a yoga-surfer girl with a great voice, who spends her winters in Costa Rica.   Another is a famous artist, who died her dog’s paws black because it looks cool. Another is a guy who SUPs for hours with a Go-Pro strapped to his forehead and takes vids of dolphins and whales. One more is the drummer in a successful country rock group. Another, the only one I will name, is King Brad. He is called king because he is King of the Cove; he knows everyone and all their names and secrets; when one local single woman had a baby, he moved into her place the first few months to help.

There are many other members and they know who they are.   Sometimes there is a blow-up, but it never lasts long. It is not natural. Better instead to dive into the shore break.   It is all about Mother Nature.

You honor Mother Nature. She is stronger than you and more capricious. Let me restate: she is way more capricious. If you make one stupid mistake while in the water, you become eligible for an early death. Even if you do everything correctly, she might kill you just because of wrong time, wrong place. She does not care and you know it.

The whole thing is spiritual. It is of our existence. It is our life.

This is my tribe. I finally found it.

 

Michael Ray grew up in Corona del Mar and lives in Laguna Beach. He is a real estate entrepreneur involved in many non-profits.

 

Share this:

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here