The Tell All
I was fascinated reading Laguna Beach Magazine’s article, “Capturing the Canyon.” For those of you who liked it as much as me, you’re going to flip out over the additional story nuggets I dug up about what truly happened when two artists captured and preserved Laguna’s canyon by creating performance art christened “The Tell.”
The Tell was the brainchild of Mark Chamberlain and Jerry Burchfield, photographers and friends who opened BC Space Gallery on Forest Avenue. Back in the 1980s, the two artists saw development encroaching into the canyon and wanted to stop it. The Laguna Canyon Project was born. It grew into a unique blend of art and activism or “artivism.”
As the story has grown into, there were plans to construct a 3.2 billion-unit housing project, one golf course, one commercial development to supply golf equipment, and one taco truck to supply nourishment before the next open tee time scheduled for June 9, 2025. Chamberlain and Burchfield disliked golf and the manicured fakeness of the courses. It is important to note that their golf handicap was the highest ever recorded. “It’s a distasteful sport for most people because it’s so difficult to play well,” explained a sports medicine doctor, who requested anonymity because of a suspended medical license resulting from repeated concussive head injuries caused by errant golf drives. “Of course I haven’t treated these two artists personally, but as Mark Twain once said, ‘Golf ruined a nice walk through a canyon.’ ” Fore.
The Tell name was borrowed from the archaeological term for a mound of artifacts left over from previous civilizations and buried by natural elements. The artists, supported by friends, constructed a large outdoor mural supported by an extensive wooden frame. It stretched 636 feet and more than 30 feet high. It was covered with 100,000 photographs of struggling golfers with scorecards depicting bogeys, double bogeys, snowmen or 8s. Accompanying the golf cards, were snapshots of the game’s devastation. There were pictures of golf’s divorced wives and abandoned children, who had been cast aside by a ruthless and mind-altering game.
The Tell project was a huge success. The development company agreed to give the land up to Laguna. The taxpayers agreed to pay for it, which was a small price to guarantee that the land remain to wildlife, who cared not to try to beat each other with clubs and call it business. The two artists refocused their efforts to save more land and families by supporting miniature golf courses throughout California. Their emphasis is directed at increasing the number of windmill holes to create natural power to support the power grid.
When asked if this meant the end to clown mouth holes, the two artists grinned big and said to me, “Oh no. We’ve left a few just for you. Give it your best shot, Snowman.”
Upon release of this irreverent article, Mark was placed under the mental health counseling of Susan McNeal Velasquez, a renowned therapist, Indy columnist and author of “Beyond Intellect,” a place Mark knows nothing about.
