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Pet Peeves: Change in the Ear

Laguna Beach was founded as an artist colony.  I took an art aptitude test once. I had to draw a horse, people and a floral arrangement. As a child I was always in a hurry.  To save time I put two stick figures inside a horse and placed a red hat with flowers on it.  I thought my...

Pet Peeves: Home Alone

Laguna Beach is a great place to vacation. There are exceptions. My wife sometimes leaves town to get a vacation away from me.  She tells me the kid in me requires a break from time to time. In a way, it’s an honor that she trusts the kid in me to hold down the fort while she is...

Pet Peeves: Working Holiday

Laguna Beach is a great place to vacation. Three to 4 million visitors come annually to get a reprieve from their every day lives and work. But there are always one or two visitors who bring their work with them. We just had one such visitor.  His occupation was bank robbery. You...

Pet Peeves: Tantalizing Tuesdays

Laguna Beach is a gastronomical delight.  But then, gastronomical is a word that doesn’t go down right.  You could choke on any one of those five syllables.  Let’s say instead, Laguna Beach has good places to eat.  Much yummy-er.  Put away the tums.  Laguna Beach is a tummy ache...

Pet Peeves: Historical Open-Treetise

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach is a special place because it is made up.  Yes, you read this correctly.  Laguna Beach is not real in a collective sense.  Laguna Beach is only real in the singular mind of each resident.  Your perception is the only reality that counts.  No,...

Pet Peeves: Water Wise

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach is good for walks on the beach. CSI found my footprints and I’m reporting to you readers while on the run. Apparently, waves do not wash away all footprints. I don’t like being a fugitive, but what’s worse is imagining the end. That’s when...

Pet Peeves: No More Dirty Looks

By Mark D. Crantz   I found paradise in Laguna Beach. Now the trick is figuring out how to stay here. My 201K can buy you only so many nights. I’ve called my therapist, Dr. Arnie Paypal for advice on a suitable second career. He says it’s most important to follow your...

Pet Peeves: Making an Entrance

Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, what about an entrance?  Truth be told, I’m more an expert about exits. “Here’s the door. Get lost, buddy.” I’ve always thought the “buddy” at the end was hopeful even though I was being shown the door.  I’ve seen the...

Pet Peeves: Hold That CO2

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, there’s CO2.  For those readers not familiar with these elements in the periodic table, I want to know where you were instead of chemistry class in high school.  Be careful with your answer...

Pet Peeves: Makeovers

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, there are makeovers.  These changes are for the most part good. The Main Beach lifeguard tower is getting a makeover, which includes a new roof, stucco repair and new paint. And the former Laguna...

Pet Peeves: Parking

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but there isn’t any parking.  Back to the airport kids. We’ll just make do in long-term parking. Our vacation will still be fun.  You’ll see.  Will play license plate switch and call in BOLOs (Be on the...

Pet Peeves: Smugglers

By Mark D. Crantz Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but there’s drug smuggling.  Oh no!  Recently, 1,200 lbs. of marijuana was seized in Crystal Cove by the authorities.  Concerned with the sanctity of the chain of evidence, federal agents opted to burn the...

Pet Peeves: Holy Cow

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, the Pope quit.  Holy Cow! As only the late Chicago Cubs broadcaster, Harry Caray could say it best.  It shouldn’t have come as a complete surprise because the Pope did make the announcement during...

Pet Peeves: Grieving for Plastic

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but now plastic bags are outlawed.  Oh no! Although we were forewarned almost a year ago, I wasn’t prepared for the loss of the phrase, “Will that be plastic or paper?” You see what I liked about the...

Pet Peeves: Resolutions

By Mark Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in paradise, but now it’s time to make New Year resolutions. Oh no!  And this year I’m not prepared because I was counting on my Mayan calendar to get me out of this time worn ritual. Darn those magnetic fields....