The Kibitzer

Let Laguna Chill

Have you heard about the new grass-roots organization that has formed in Laguna? It’s not Let Laguna Vote, or Canyon Alliance of Neighborhoods Defense Organization, or even the recent Together Laguna Can Defeat Measure KK (medical marijuana dispensary). Nope, this one is Let Laguna Chill. Their mission is nothing short of transforming the culture of our town, from fear to freedom, anger to kindness, greed to gratitude, and home values to human values. Because, as Ram Dass said, “We’re all just walking each other home.”

I got a hold of some of the LLC campaign literature, and here’s what it says:

Let Laguna Chill wants to stop the rancor over view preservation, vacation rentals, parklets, dispensaries, traffic, noise, parking, tourists, homeless, and start spreading love like it’s the only thing that matters.

In the chilled world of Laguna, there’d be no hyperventilating in traffic – because there wouldn’t be any. People would walk, bike, skate, Segway, scooter, and share driverless vehicles. Commuting is fun as we gulp the briny air and wave and smile to each other while exchanging the mantra, “Lucky to live in Laguna.” And in those rare moments when there is traffic we just drop into our happy place of gratitude, and breathe.

In Chilled Laguna people love their neighbors and don’t snitch them out or fight over something that affects their home values because, well, money is not the motivating factor in life. And when neighbors rent their homes to quiet, responsible people, they are welcomed and invited into the homes of their charmingly chill neighbors.

We advocate rituals of mindfulness and gratitude. Every morning the community gathers at our beaches and engage in yoga, meditation, tai chi, swimming, dancing, chanting, or a simple sun salutation or gratitude practice. Then do it again at sunset, with beautiful gong baths to ring in the moon. Talk about chill!

Our food is grown locally in our parks, our water harvested from waste, and we are completely self-reliant. At 10 a.m. there is a mandatory raw pressed juice break. School is automatically suspended when there is a swell.

We welcome out-of-town kids to our South Laguna beaches in summer, knowing full well they will do boneheaded stuff. But our volunteer CT (Chill Taskforce) is always at the ready to give them a polite nudge, dispense pearls in the wisdom of chill, and occasionally clean up behind them. Mainly we give thanks they are hanging in nature and not in shopping malls.

Our police force dispenses positive “tickets” when they see people doing good things.

Heights are raised one story downtown, and all third floors are rent-controlled artists lofts with big, beautiful windows. Every month one of them throws a rave. And Louis Longhi gets to finally build his live/work space for 30 artists.

We don’t sweep our homeless out into the canyon to sleep 80 to a room, but find remedial housing and teach them skills because we are all inter-connected and the only difference between us and them is someone can put a roof over our heads.

The Ranch builds a permanent housing structure for the homeless and live/work programs to rehabilitate them. In return they get to throw unlimited festivals and events on the luscious first fairway. The Laguna Art Museum does Art in Nature shows throughout the year that bathes all of Main Beach in LEDs and lasers at night.

Our renown fire spinners get a permit to spin on the beach during the full moon drum circle, the safest place to perform this stunning art, and it becomes the greatest visual parade this side of Disney.

We specialize in chill lounges and coffee shops with soft lighting and couches that stay open late and play quiet groove music.

Downtown is denuded of cars. There are parklets, cafés, public seating, planters, performers, pocket parks, play areas, bike corrals and rental kiosks, café lighting, and a slow moving, old fashioned tram down Ocean Ave to the Sawdust Festival. Merchants are giddy with business.

Now that pot is completely legal, everyone grows six plants so there is little to no traffic at the dispensaries.

Finally, anyone who wants to cut a tree down must first sit face to face and feel this living, breathing organism and explain why it is being put to death.

Let Laguna Chill hasn’t endorsed anyone for City Council yet, but is looking for candidates who can lead us towards a progressive, conscious, compassionate community, mainly by telling anyone who opposes their vision to “Just Chill Out!” Coming to a yard sign near you soon.

Billy Fried hosts “Laguna Talks” Thursday at 8 p.m. on radio station KX 93.5 and can be reached at [email protected].