Remember when the transformer action figures were the current got-to-have toys for boys? I would watch my grandson twist and turn limbs, torsos and heads with a surety and speed that was mind-boggling. “How did you do that?” “Easy!” he would say.
When I tried, I would randomly bend and twist different parts but just couldn’t get the knack of it. The whole concept was unfamiliar to me.
The New Year 2012 is almost here. Most of us are familiar with the tradition of New Year’s Resolutions. The theory behind resolutions is that the start of a new year is a perfect time to make changes.
Reportedly, the actual results of resolutions are dismal. It seems that based on the research, ‘we are who we are’ and change is hard.
Maybe the concept of change needs a definition overhaul. When I played with dolls, the only option was to change their clothes or accessories, whereas my grandson was introduced to toys that could be transformed into something new. My dolls got a change of external clothes, while the transformer toys got a change of identity.
The differences between change and transformation seem subtle but are actually profound.
The traditional approach to change is to isolate a problem, create a step-by-step plan and follow it to completion. Change starts with the intellect. We decide what is good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, or better vs. worse.
Change requires that we mentally jump into the future, land on a desired outcome and then systematically move towards our stated goal. It calls for a change of mind, first and foremost.
This approach is worthwhile; it just isn’t comprehensive enough for the complex world we live in today.
The transformational approach to change requires that your basic inner development be in place before you move ahead. Transforming the quality of your life starts with a solid core. Let’s call it a basic ground of being, a platform of self-trust.
So a logical first question is how do you build self-trust? Self-acceptance is the fuel that fosters self-trust. At its lowest level, self-acceptance requires that you tolerate what you don’t like about your life or yourself without protest, justification, or denial.
There is a natural law that states that what you resist persists. Deny your past? You are doomed to repeat it. Pretend to be perfect to cover up your inadequacies? You will find yourself caught in an ego web of never being as good as you imagine or as bad as you judge yourself to be.
Accomplishing this mighty step of increased self-acceptance requires that you rein in your runaway mind and increase your ability to laugh at yourself. After all, you have been through triumphs and disasters, so rather than doing endless re-runs of the Perils of Poor Pitiful Pearl, the smart alternative is to lighten up and move on, equipped with the hard-earned wisdom you’ve gained.
When our inner landscape is devoid of self-acceptance, basic self-trust is replaced with habitual self-sabotage. Therefore, your newly conceived plans for an improved future are aborted due to lack of self-support. You are unable to sustain your dreams because you are locked into a starvation diet of self-condemnation. Self-trust is the bedrock of transformational change.
Stand up for who you are today. Open your heart and your mind to the task of accepting all aspects of yourself. Call to your inner wisdom.
Sit quietly and ask for an answer to this question: “Given who I am today, what is right action for me at this time?” Listen. Open up and accept the voice of your own inner brilliance.
Relax, release, let go and when you finally regain your sure-footedness, face forward and resume your journey into the land of infinite possibilities. Happy New Year!
Susan offers on-going seminars locally and is the author of Beyond Intellect: Journey Into the Wisdom of Your Intuitive Mind. Reach her at: susanvelasquez.com or: 949- 494-7773.