Does the Wet Suit You

Don’t Come Here, You’ll Drown

Laguna Beach is where the right hand often doesn’t know what the left hand is doing, even when they’re both connected to the same council member’s brain. Take traffic and parking for an example. 

Our issue of too much traffic and too few places to park dates back to the days of the horseless carriage. It has matured into the quagmire we endure today. So why are we spending tax dollars to attract more tourists to visit? Haven’t we learned this only makes the problem worse? 

On the one hand, we have a city spending tax dollars trying to address traffic and parking problems, while on the other hand spending tax dollars attracting more tourists. When you are deep in a hole, like we are with traffic and parking, maybe it is time to stop digging.

Most of the bill for providing municipal services in Laguna today is paid by residential property taxes, not business taxes. Why should residents care if businesses attract more tourists? With few exceptions, most local businesses aren’t selling anything residents buy anyway. Do we really need another Mexican restaurant downtown?

We used to have to work hard to attract tourists. We needed their money. Tourist numbers fell off a cliff during the winter. Jobs were hard to find. Property values and taxes were low. Business taxes paid a large portion of the city budget.

It isn’t like that now. Today, we have more tourists than we’ll ever need. After we deduct the money earned from “good” tourists, each tourist costs us about four dollars. That totals about 30 million dollars a year.

There is no longer any reason to build our image. Laguna’s image is fabulous. Any increase in our home values from image building has been more than offset by the dismal state of traffic and parking in Laguna. Most folks say, “I wouldn’t want to live in Laguna, but it’s a great place to visit.”

Let’s fix this growing nightmare with solutions focused on the problems tourists visiting Laguna bring with them.  The tourists that create these problems should pay for fixing them. We can start by ceasing to spend tax dollars on endeavors bent on attracting more tourists.

Until then, we need a new campaign. Something like: “Don’t come to Laguna, you might drown. You’ll get eaten by a shark. The jelly fish and sting rays are thick today. The sand flies are biting. Too much sun gives you cancer.”

There are some slogans we can use. Let’s put them on those flashing signs by the side of the road.

J.J. Gasparotti moved to Laguna Beach with his family when he was 11 years old. He has loved it ever since.