Don’t Fool with Mother Nature



I just spent three days in Palm Desert.  It was a great pre-holiday get away.  The weather cooperated, so I wore shorts on the golf course.  Good friends from the beach were there, so we had lots of laughs.  And last, but not least, I only checked my email once.

That changed as soon as I returned home.  I wasn’t surprised to see 73 unread emails, but I was taken aback at their collective content.  In short, I learned that while I was gone, I could:  qualify for various low-interest rate loans; join two “green” movements; become a nurse online; regain my hearing; light up my home with remarkable candles; redeem coupons for steep discounts; and, do all of the above with a much larger penis.

Now I’m not one to turn his back on high finance, partisan politics, healthy living or bright lights, but I am opposed to enhancing certain body parts.  Especially when I have a name for one of those parts.

I don’t know anyone who has enlarged his manhood, but I do know plenty of women who have had their breasts done. As with any surgery, many are happy with the results but some are not.  What I can’t figure out is what happens if a man doesn’t like his new you-know-what?  Just because he has a bigger hammer, that doesn’t mean he can pound nails better, right?

Last Thanksgiving, I told my family and friends I was thankful for the Internet.  When I left for college in 1966, about the only way you could stay in touch with high school classmates was to write a letter and wait for theirs three months later.  Today, exchanges with my childhood friends happen in seconds.  This is true for Facebook, Twitter, you name it.

So, was I surprised at the number of emails I received while I was gone for three days? No. Was I taken aback by their content?  Yes.  Will I join an environmental group, take online courses or more?  Maybe. Will I enlarge my penis?  Never.

I guess you can say that for all the good I believe the ‘net delivers, there is one thing that is as true today as it was decades ago.  That is, “It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.

Happy holidays everyone.

Denny Freidenrich, Laguna Beach.

Share this:
View Our User Comment Policy


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here