Do We Really Need A Valentine’s Day?
Americans celebrate so many holidays and some of them are of a dubious nature. There is Cinco de Mayo, which most Americans think is Mexican Independence Day, and use as an excuse to get drunk. In the same vein there is St. Patrick’s Day where many pretend to be Irish and also get drunk.
Who among us has not gone to the post office on an October day and found it closed due to Columbus Day? Really? It’s a federal holiday for a guy who “discovered” a continent where millions of people already lived. Then there is Columbus’ treatment of the native inhabitants that he and his men kidnapped, enslaved, and murdered. They brought diseases that decimated the helpless “Indians.” What a great guy to celebrate, right up there with President Andrew Jackson, who did his level best to make life a living hell for Native people.
(Pop quiz: What recent president hung a painting of Jackson in the Oval Office?)
Now comes February and a creepy little angel in diapers with a bow and arrow. Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day. I run the risk of upsetting some couples, who find this to be a special day, as well as advertisers and corporations, but I must raise my voice against the needless, the stressful, and the over- commercialized.
The official line seems to be that we need a special day to show appreciation for our loved ones. But shouldn’t every day be a day to show your affection to those you care for deeply? I was with my late wife for 39 years. We did not need a day marked on the calendar to do something special or give gifts. More important dates we remembered were our first kiss, the first “I love you,” the first time a doctor told us we were pregnant.
I wonder how many men, especially, think to themselves, ”Gosh, I have not been very attentive lately. I almost forgot our anniversary. Good thing Gelson’s has flowers I can pick up on the way home. Valentine’s Day is coming and I can make up for my lack of warmth and attention by showering my significant other with gifts and cards.” That’s pretty weak.
For the last year and a half, I have been in an ecstatically happy relationship with a woman of the highest quality. Valentine’s Day does not make us act differently. Any day can be a sunset watched at the beach, holding hands at the movies, or cheering together for the wonderfully ageless Roger Federer.
There are other concerns I have about Valentine’s Day. Treading gently here, I do believe it reinforces gender stereotypes. It is, isn’t it, the male who is supposed to provide the flowers, or the chocolates, or make the dinner reservations at that special romantic place? Is it my imagination or do retailers raise prices for these Valentine items in February? I know it is hard to believe that America has an over- commercialization of certain holidays.
What if you are single and have no one in your life on this day our nation has designated to recognize romantic love? This could be a day where many of these people feel marginalized, set apart. Their aloneness driven home to them in an unfeeling way. But take heart all of you who are currently alone. Remember, that most dating relationships fizzle out and 50% of marriages end in divorce. The chances are good that the wheel of karma may spin your way and you will be the one in a meaningful relationship sometime soon.
At the risk of encountering the wrath of 1-800 Flowers, Godiva, and Hallmark, I ask that we ease up on the stress of remembering Valentine’s Day. Love is the most powerful and precious gift we hold in our hearts. We should not need a special day to remind us of that.
Anyway, we have too many holidays. Some are just silly (Cinco de Mayo), some are morally reprehensible (Columbus Day), and some are just plain unnecessary (Valentine’s Day).
Let’s give more attention to truly significant holidays like Independence Day, Memorial Day, and President’s Day.
And remember that showing and receiving love is a year around activity.
James Utt hopes Italian- Americans have not taken too great offense at his trashing of Columbus. You guys still have Frank Sinatra.
