Read the Personals
GIFTED PSYCHIC – I can help you with love relationships, illness, healing, money problems, family matters. I provide the answers for you. No problem too tall/too small. Must pay $500 cash upfront. #GypsyKnowAll
MASSAGE CHAIR – Like new – must sacrifice my favorite chair. Downsizing to live in motor home – chair does not fit into cramped new lifestyle. Skips a beat every so often – best offer. #NoPlaceLikeHome
GOODBYE KATHY – You are suspicious of everyone and everything. I cannot take your jealousy – checking my phone for text messages. Driving by Starbuck’s to check on me. I’m gone — UR2clingy. #FreeAtLast
NICE LITTLE BOAT – You can take her fishing and water skiing. Runs well. Neat, sweet, cheap. Come check her out; she’s in my pool. $3,000 or exchange for other sea-worthy vessel. #De-Bait-Able
SENORITA needed. I am a spiffy senior guy in my 80s. Looking for a pretty young woman to go dancing with on New Year’s Eve. If you can rhumba, tango, fox-trot and waltz – you’re for me. #DancingFool
Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist and poet, lives in Laguna Woods.