Just for Laughs

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By Irene DeBasio
By Irene DeBasio

ACTIVE, 93-YEAR-OLD LADY has an extra ticket to the Pat Boone concert on Valentine’s night. You can score a chance to escort me by answering one special question correctly. Excellent seat, Clubhouse 3 theater.  #OneHotMama

 

PANES IN THE GLASS – Huge Valentine’s Day Sale.  Heart-shaped treasures: Glass heart paperweights, glass heart necklaces, glass heart candy dishes, pet bowls, sun chasers, mugs, you-name-it.  #Don’tBreakMyGlass

 

ANCESTRY COOKBOOK – Compiling old family recipes for special edition one-of-a-kind cookbook.  I will pay $25 for any authentic, original family recipe handed down generations.  1 Free copy.  #TheUltimateAncestralCookbook

 

RETIRED CELEBRITY YACHT-OWNER looking for fun people to join me for luxury cruise through Mediterranean. We will meet on Sunday at Las Brisas — brunch on patio, draw up itinerary. $10,000 per passenger.  #SailAway

 

CHEF-COOK needed immediately for two large families, sharing vacation home.  Must be willing to shop and cook for two vegan, four vegetarian, seven omnivore; we all eat differently but insist on eating meals together. If this is too difficult for you to manage, please do not apply.  Will consider a couple/any gender. $$$$ salary #LettuceEat

 

Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist and poet, lives in Laguna Woods.

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2 COMMENTS

  1. Your column was once again the brightest part of my day! I’ll pay anything for an authentic Italian recipe if it comes with an authentic Italian man!

  2. Dear Chloe,
    Unfortunately the person who is compiling recipes for the ancestral cookbook is asking for old-family recipes. I suggest you consider placing a personal ad in this column. We have been getting excellent results — lots of happy consumers. Who knows, you might just get lucky. I’m sure we can help. It may mean a trip to Italy to complete your search.
    Thanks for your comment.

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