Read the Personals
SHOPLIFTERS WANTED – We have developed a brand new security system. We need shoplifters to try it out for us. See if they can detect it, dismantle it or do anything to stop it from working. We will pay you $100 if you can disable it (so we improve it). #ComeAndGrab
RETIRED LADY would love to learn to speak Spanish. If you can teach me to speak Spanish, how to cook authentic paella, we can make a deal.
You will come to my home for a couple of hours once a week. Manicurist/hairdresser – a big plus. Excellent $$$ #BuenosDias
LANDSCAPE CONTEST – Do you enjoy planning and planting gardens? Win a contract with our garden supply company and a $500 prize. We
will tell you where your garden patch is located; you tell us what you need to plant a beautiful garden. No succulents. #PushingUpDaisies
ARE YOU A MAN’S MAN? Middle-aged jerk, lost my license (under the influence) and need a good guy to help me out. You drive me to work at 8:45 AM – pick me up from work at 6:30, drive me to Diversion therapy once a week (Wednesdays). No Uber – Deal? #UDriveMe
PRETTY BLUE-EYED BLONDE at Zinc Café on Friday morning. You sneezed and I gave you a tissue. You said, “Thank you.” You were eating
avocado toast with a side of waffles. I was older guy sitting at the next table. Please contact me; we can meet there again? #UncleTony
Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist and poet, resides in Laguna Woods.