Just for Laughs

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By Irene DeBasio
By Irene DeBasio

I AM MATURE, RESPONSIBLE and efficient – except the times when I’m not.  I will babysit your cat, dog, bird or fish.  I’ll play with them all day, feed them plenty and take them out for lots of walks (except fish)  $8 per hour.  #SuperPetSitter

 

VINTAGE CLASSIC wristwatches for sale – not working.  I must sacrifice my beautiful collection of rare time pieces at good prices.  They need a little TLC. Gold Rolex ($2500) Movado with diamond ($300) Bulova ($50)  #TimeOnMyHands

 

SEARCHING FOR MARCIE – You were eating lunch on the Wesley Street Beach with two girlfriends on Friday.  You are so pretty – going to college (Business Administration?) Talking about TV show “Friends”.  Please contact me  #HaroldNeedsU

 

PINK FLAMINGOS – Two life-size beauties on stakes for you to put on your front lawn with great pride.  They are in excellent shape and will only be sold together as a pair.  Classic from the 1950s.  #2PinkBirds

 

CHEVY NOVA (True to its name – it does not go anywhere.) It was stored in a forgotten garage for many years – needs a lot of work including tires, battery, all fluids, etc.  I will pay you $50 to get it towed away.  Good transportation car #TakeItAway

 

Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist and poet, lives in Laguna Woods.

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