Read the Personals
ELECTRIC SCOOTER Eco-friendly, nearly brand new – Must sacrifice because I almost got run over by street traffic. Price was $1,700 plus. Please take this thing away – it’s yours for a mere $200. Beautiful blue and white stunner. #RoughScoot
BUSY EXECUTIVE is searching for arm candy. Ideal candidate will be pretty, tall, thin, mid-30s to 40s. Must have freedom to travel, conservative wardrobe, excellent breeding, good manners. No tattoos, no blue jeans, moderate drinker. #OpenCallAudition
1974 CHEVY MINIVAN – still runs, lots of space for seating and cargo. Has bashed-in rear but drives well (except over bumps). Interior is in pretty good shape – a little torn upholstery – needs new floor mats. Tan and white. $2,500 obo. #WeStylin’
CALLING ALL SQUARE dancers. Forming a new group for square dancing – dancers and callers needed to visit numerous county fairs around the country. Must like country folk, farm animals and travel by comfy big bus. Good salary. #HeeHawFolks
OLDER RETIRED LADY seeking young man for chauffeur/body guard. You must have excellent driving record and be available to drive from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. Prefer muscular, handsome type who looks good in uniform/no Sundays. #DrivingMrsDaisy
Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist, lives in Laguna Woods.
“1974 CHEVY MINIVAN . . . needs new floor mats.”
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@ WeStylin’ – Can you fit it with Astroturf?
R/ #ReadyToDeal
I’d like to inquire about a driving man myself! #DrivingMrsDaisy.
Dennis Paine — Not so sure about Astroturf — you probably need to go to visit the van first. I believe it’s located on the south side of Chicago. I forget the term they use — pack heat?
Hello Chloe — Demand has been very high for driving man — take a number and a seat. Don’t call us, we’ll call you.