Just for Laughs

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Read the Personals

By Irene DeBasio

 

HOLIDAY SHOPPING DONE for next year. That’s right – Delicious Branahougan fruit cakes are selling 2 for $35 and packed in a beautiful holiday air-free, decorated tin. They contain rum and can be kept hidden away for a full year! Christmas shopping is done. #YesFruitCake

 

SENIOR LADY NEEDS HELP. I am an older senior who is confined to a wheelchair until my wounds heal. Looking for a young woman who will do my housekeeping, cook for me and run errands. Can’t pay much, but you can live in my guestroom for a few months. #Help!

 

ELECTRIC SCOOTER for sale. Okay, I had an accident and want to sell this darn thing. I forget how much I paid for it and cannot find the receipt. Just come over and take a look at it and make an offer. Let’s not go through a whole hullabaloo – I need to #SellItFast

 

MEN’S LARGE RED LEISURE SUIT for sale. My wife picked out this polyester thing for me to wear during our holiday vacation in Colorado? She must be kidding. I am so conservative that I have never worn anything red (nor pink) in my entire life. Still in gift box. #RedPolyThing

 

COUPLES TRIP TO NEW YORK. We’re taking the train clear across the country – sleepers and dining cars – through Chicago. You must first contact our travel agent. All fees must be paid up-front before you travel with our group. We just want to be sure that you #FitInWithUs

 

Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist, lives in Laguna Woods.

 

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