Just for Laughs

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Read the Personals

By Irene DeBasio

DAVOS FEMALE – I’m a Davos VIP, just returned from the big conference. It’s my great pleasure to sell impressive bumper stickers for only $7 each. You can have a choice – I like the “Adventure Capitalist.” #SwissMiss

 

MISTER CHOLLY can do it all. I can make repairs to your home: paint, carpet, roof, room dividers/expansions, build tunnels, clean your garage, hang holiday lights, repair gutters and downspouts. I also cook/babysit. #ChollyRobot

 

WARHOL paintings wanted. I will pay top dollar for any and all Andy Warhol original work – please remember just one fact. I do NOT want a Campbell Soup can – please, not that one. I will buy anything except that can. #NoWarholCans

 

ARTHUR MURRAY-TRAINED dance teacher. Come to my private class on Monday evenings and I will teach you all the oldest and newest dance steps. Please wear formal clothing/black-tie. Expensive – worth it. #DancingMan

 

INVESTORS – We need cash to put our excellent ideas to work. Remember the pet rock? So do we! We’ve come up with a novel idea where we can make a fortune. C’mon, take a chance, give us a few thousand for our start-up. #UoweME

 

Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist, lives in Laguna Woods.

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