Read the Personals
PRINCESS needed – Be my beautiful date/dancer for the Harvest Moon Ball. You are petite, pretty and dance well. Must be under 80, dressy, able to hold your booze. Hair, teeth a must. #PrinceCharm
EX-HUSBAND yard sale – Everything MUST go. Collection of comic books, ugly sculptures, eight-track tapes, cargo pants, t-shirts, hoodies, chess game with boards, weird books, prints. #ForgottenButNotYetGone
HYPERACTIVE CAT – High-energy calico free to a good home. Cannot take his high-jinks anymore; loves to grab toilet paper and run it everywhere. I am exhausted. Please take him. #DennisThe MenaceCat
WEDDING GOWN – Expensive designer, size 6, bought at Neiman Marcus, Beverly Hills. Worn only once by mistake. Gorgeous (long veil). $500 or best offer. Clean and boxed like new. #MyBigFatDivorce
JEANNIE with the light brown hair. You are a nurse, working Oceanside, rehab – I was wounded veteran you nursed back to health. Looking to repay you for the tender, loving care. #GratefulGus
You’ve done it again, Miss De Blasio. As a proud owner of a hyper cat this made me begin the day with a laugh.
Good morning and thank you!
Irene – I love your wit! Keep ’em coming!
Great column, Irene. And funny too. Surprised that dude didn’t take the 8 tracks with him. Most men can’t bear to part with them.
Geedee,
Once again your comment has made my day. I know the hyperactive cat very well — having had one or two myself. I never thought I could be content without having a pet — but I am. It might be selfish of me but at this stage of my life I prefer having no encumbrances.
Thanks for being a great cheerleader — keep on reading.
Melissa Stone,
Many thanks. This is the way I was born. I’m so glad you appreciate me. I appreciate you too. Please keep on reading. I can’t have a column without you.
Ex husband yard sale-spend a buck, get the man for free!
Hilarious as usual. Look forward to this column every week.
Miss D, I saw a 60 something neighbor wearing cargo pants this morning and remembered your column and chuckled.