Opinion: Here Comes the Stampede

18
2049

“Bring us your tired, your poor, your quarantined masses yearning to breathe free.”

It’s that punishing time of year again. No, it’s not that crush of visitors descending upon us, finding sanctuary from the oppressive inland heat in the peak mercury triad of Riverside, Phoenix, and Vegas. Or the people just over the hill packing their picnics with treats from their native Latin American, Asian, and Middle Eastern cultures, adding welcome diversity to our white-bread town. Or the kids who come to South Laguna beaches to make out by the crashing waves, enjoying the greatest free show on mother earth–the ocean. Yes they crowd our city and litter and defecate and that, I’m afraid, is the cost of living in an incredible resort town. But I’m not talking about any of them.

I’m referring to the usual carping coming from the anti-tourist crusaders who trot out the same tired rhetoric about how we are subsidizing visitors and they are harshing our mellow. Two weeks ago in this paper, the Crusader-in-Chief rehashed his redundant screed that visitors are ripping us off by not paying for their share of services. He bases this on the unproven claim that we host 6.2 million visitors annually. Yet we have never, ever seen the data to support this.

The following week, in a letter I refer to as mutual logrolling, his doppelganger weighed in with a fawning review of his compatriot’s letter. Their solution: tax visitors for everything they do: parking, transit, meals, retail sales, arts festivals, etc. How about charging them for every breath they take? Oxygen’s not free, man. Not in Laguna.    

These are the elitists who would have you believe that visitors just don’t belong here, because they’re not our kind of people. During the debate over vacation rentals, the Crusader stood before Council and said, with a straight face, “if you have a vacation rental next to your home it will ruin your life.” No, living in Flint, Michigan with a tainted water system could ruin your life. But if we held homeowners to a high standard of guest behavior management, with severe penalties for breaches (a process known as regulating), in most instances our lives would be improved by meeting interesting, well behaved people from around the world, and showing them our unusual level of aloha, because we are so “lucky to live Laguna.”

The notion that cutting off city money to promote tourism will suddenly shut off the spigot is hopelessly naive. They are already here, and you’d have to shut down Instagram, Facebook and YouTube to have any real impact.

And finally, there’s anti-fun crusader No. 1, our very own City Council Nanny, Toni Iseman, who would (and in many cases already has) legislate against road bikes, mountain bikes, skateboards, motorcycles, pedestrian plazas, dancing, nightclubs, cannabis, cigarettes, alcohol, and keeping anything open past 9 p.m. Her vision is to remake us into “Leisure World by the Sea.” The latest, shameful episode of “Joykill Laguna” occurred at the last Council meeting, when she had the audacity to try and put our greeter, Michael Minutoli, out of business, claiming he is a distraction that could cause motorists to crash. Seriously! Maybe we should outlaw teenage boys and girls crossing the street in bathing suits, or block the ocean view corridors at every intersection.

Thankfully, interim Chief of Police Jeff Calvert defended Mike by saying he stands far enough away from the intersection and businesses to not break any laws. But that didn’t stop Toni, who then asked about the veracity of the tape measure. For real! I’ve laid off Toni for years.

She’s a nice person and I will always defend her from personal attacks, but politically she is so out of touch with what has always made Laguna so special – freedom and tolerance. I love Michael, and in the 10 years he has tirelessly danced and waved to visitors, he has undoubtedly brought more joy to this town than anyone ever has. He’s homeless and ailing, and yet he still musters the gumption to entertain us and send messages of positivity to everyone he encounters. He maintains a Laguna tradition immortalized by two statues in town, and on July 1 will mark his official 10-year anniversary as our unofficial greeter with an epic 24-hour marathon greet. Unless of course Toni shuts him down. Shame on you, Toni Iseman. Leave poor Michael alone. You have crossed an irrevocable line that clearly indicates, as many have already noted. It’s time to retire.

Billy hosts “Laguna Talks” on KXFM radio at 8 p.m. on Thursdays.

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18 COMMENTS

  1. You know, Billy, for someone who complains about others carping, I suggest you re-read your own article from beginning to end.

    Oh, and by the way, a quick Googling turned up this Daily Pilot article which attributes the 6 million day visitors number to the marketing group Visit Laguna Beach – proven or otherwise, there’s your source:

    https://www.latimes.com/socal/daily-pilot/opinion/tn-cpt-me-0515-hansen-20150515-story.html

    Since you seem to be alright with taxpayers picking up the tab for all the costs related to the teeming masses visiting our fair shores – instead of having them help foot the bill with some sort of user fee – I’d like to suggest you to start paying my taxes.

    As for cooling our jets on promoting more visitors (yet another taxpayer expense, because 6,000,000 visitors a year just don’t seem to be enough) – well, cutting off the promotions may not stop folks from coming, but any sane person would have to think that it’s not going to be exalting even more to come. (How many is too many? 8,000,000? 10,000,000?)

    Lastly, thanks again for not bashing others by name or otherwise. A true Crusader-In-Chief-endeavor, nobly done.

  2. A few more years and we’ll be Laguna Woods!! FFS! Relax and enjoy the diversity and quirkiness that has always thrived in Laguna . Don’t smoke, don’t dig holes or throw frisbees on the beach, no Tiki torches, no loud noises, no busking or street entertainment etc ,etc,etc! Please protect me from the people who want to protect me!!!! PS. I’m a 40 year resident who actually survived before all the friggin laws were shoved down our throats.

  3. Oh come now, Jerome. Show me the actual study and methodology. Joanne, I couldn’t agree more. Toni’s 20+ years of public service are indeed laudable. She’s always been accessible and quite charming. But I’ll keep mouthing off when she takes on innocent people and stands in the way of progress, freedom and tolerance.

  4. I will second Billy Fried’s plea for an actual study and methodology, but fear it is a unicorn in Laguna Beach. As a research methods publisher, I have to warn that the City studies I’ve seen, such as the survey regarding “how many people love/use the Promenade”, was what is called a “convenience sample”. Convenience samples like the Promenade survey are akin to walking up to someone eating an ice cream cone outside an iced cream parlor and asking the person if they like ice cream. Solid empirical data or a probability sample? Nope.

  5. Correct, Deborah, the research firm engaged by Visit Laguna makes their living doing visitor studies for Visitor Bureaus. The more visitors they report, the better for the bureaus. This, better for them. I challenged their CEO to show me the methodology, and all I got was an email saying they extrapolated from some random intercepts. It was at best qualitative and in no way a large enough sample to be quantifiable. Plus common sense would tell you that 16,000 visitors every single day of the year who stop, park and take an action is, well, impossible. But yes it remains the canard we all use to assail our tourism efforts. And Jerome, the visitors bureaus efforts are aimed at bringing in the high end overnight visitors who do in fact pay more then their share through the bed tax. This is undeniably important revenue as it does not have to be shared with anyone else.

  6. I’m surprised by Billy’s claim that Visit Laguna’s purpose is to bring in more high end overnight visitors. If you read the copy on Visit Laguna’s landing page it seems to be a pitch for our beaches and trails versus high end hotels, which are only briefly mentioned in the second sentence. I will paste in the copy to illustrate: >“The artist colony of Laguna Beach is one of Orange County’s hidden gems, located halfway between Los Angeles and San Diego. The city’s topography is unique to other California coastal cities with its seven miles of coves and beaches where visitors can explore sea caves, tide pools, ocean side bluffs, natural tide pools and of course, sandy beaches, all within city limits. Laguna Beach also boasts the most beachfront lodging options in all of California, making it an ideal spot for a beach getaway.
    Beyond the beach, the city is home to more than 20,000 beautiful acres of protected wilderness, making it an optimal location for adventurous exploration. From world-renowned mountain biking trails for all levels of expertise, hundreds of miles of hiking, dramatic vistas, verdant hills and marine sanctuaries, there’s no limit of new places to discover during a visit to Laguna Beach. Pack your flip flops and surfboard or hiking shoes and water bottles, either way, Laguna Beach and all its options are awaiting your arrival.”< It's great copy to promote a drive to Laguna for some beach or hiking time.

  7. So Deborah, what exactly is the purpose of Visit Laguna? Hint: there’s something about that name. And their funding from the hotels. The fact that you think they are a nature conservancy is, well, good copywriting.

  8. There are three ways into Laguna by motor vehicle and Caltrans makes annual traffic counts on all three by using asphalt counters laid across the road, the kind Billy rides his Tricycle over.

    Take the seasonal adjusted 2017 Caltrans counts for PCH and LCR and assume 60% of vehicles pass through Laguna Beach, those remaining in Laguna amount to 10,030,000 vehicles per year. That number does not account for those arriving by SUP, boat or flying lawnmowers.

    Visit Laguna Beach uses Destination Analysis of San Francisco to arrive at 6.3 million tourists. Their methodology is available in the 2016 Visitor Profile Study commissioned by Visit Laguna Beach available from [email protected], I’m waiting for my copy.

    Compared to Caltrans actual vehicle counts, I have no reason to doubt Visit Laguna’s 6.3 million number, if anyone believes the number is exaggerated, wait till next year.

    The 2% Business Improvement District fee for 2019 was $2.3 million, half goes to Visit Laguna Beach and half to LCAD, LB Art Museum, Playhouse and the like. The 12% Transient Occupancy Tax was $14 million collected by the City of Laguna Beach (VLB Annual Report 2019). These amounts and more are city expenses to provide services for visitors.

    Narcissists prepare material to be heard, but not to be listened to, remember that and prepare your response accordingly.

  9. Yep Lester, take a number. I’ve been waiting for that report for 3 years. All I got was top line results. So let’s check your math. 25000 residents making just one car trip a day means 50,000 trips on the asphalt counters (to and from). Thats conservative. And yes I know some don’t drive. So let’s cut it in half and say just 12,500. This is residents only and not merchants. That’s 25,000 counts. That’s 9.125 million right there. That leaves less than a million annual visitors. In other words, until you nail down resident, merchant and worker trips, you got nothing. Do better. Reporting in from my tricycle.

  10. Two quick corrections for Billy: The last Census gave a population count of 22,500. The number may be inflated since it doesn’t adjust for those who have second homes in Laguna and are not full-time residents, like a few folks on my block. Second, that was a delightful tee-hee about locals making daily trips on PCH, which is the route of last resort for most of us.

  11. Deborah,
    Glad you represent all 22,500 of us who never get on PCH or LCR because we are retired, our mortgages are paid, we grow our own food, only shop on Amazon, and never leave our gilded ghetto for work, entertainment, amusement, travel, or errands. Yep, that’s us to a T.

  12. Dear Billy Fried: Glad you represent so many assumptions. Alas, they are false as so many assumptions are contrary to research-based information. Let’s take them one at a time: 1) Like many in Laguna Beach, I work for a corporation (the same for the last 18 years), which requires a 50-70-hour work week and travel (mostly by air) to scholarly conferences. 2) Again, like many in Laguna, my mortgage isn’t paid off. 3) I’d like to be able to grow more of my own produce, but like others, shop at grocers and Farmer’s Markets. 4) I shop and dine out in Laguna, usually without driving on PCH. There are faster, safer routes than PCH (as any cyclist knows). 5) Laguna isn’t a gilded ghetto but an artist’s dream with its canyons, cliffs, trees, sea, and light. We also have a community of big-hearted, wonderful, creative folks–Laguna to a T.

  13. Dear Billy,

    The traffic volumes I gave are from Caltran’s latest measured data for PCH and LCR in 2017. It’s their road, their operations, and their measurements – far more reliable than Friedonomics found in this Indy column. Your analysis is totally laughable.

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