Opinion: Outside In

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Fast and Furious

By David Weinstein

The weather was near perfect on Sunday afternoon, so we decided to drive down to the Festival of Arts. There are a lot of things to like about the drive from Newport to Laguna Beach along the coast. However, there is one thing to intensely dislike: the idiot drivers.

Driving past Crystal Cove Beach towards Emerald Bay I heard a high-pitched metallic growl, the sound I imagine a tiger in heat might make. Then, on my righhand side a bright red car came screaming by. My wife, who is from a family of racing car enthusiasts, excitedly announced, Wow that was a Lamborghini Aventador Roadster. For me, coming from the Midwest, that string of words she put together could have just as easily been some kind of skin disorder, or a fancy pasta dish on the menu at an overpriced Italian restaurant.

I responded, Whatever it is, they ought to arrest the guy driving it before he kills somebody.”

We pulled up next to this car again when we got to the light at Boat Canyon. The driver and his male passenger looked to be in their early twenties and they both wore baseball caps on their heads backwards. I imagined they would have been better served wearing racing helmets, but then I reconsidered and decided their choice of headgear was probably immaterial since it was clear their brains had already fallen out.

If you drive this stretch of Coast Highway, this is not an unusual occurrence, but I have good news. Theres light at the end of the tunnel, and its coming from a self-driving car. Yes, autonomous vehicles. They are no longer a thing of the future, they are here!

I purchased a new car recently. Forget that it cost twice as much as my first home. It comes with a full self-driving option and has other features that would have simply been unimaginable back when I bought my first vehicle. That was a used 1959 Ford F-100 panel truck. I paid all of $125 and, if possible, it was dumber than the 18-year-old chucklehead, me, who was driving it. It was pure analog to todays digital vehicles. The only chips to be found in it were not those of a computer, but those of a potato, and they were usually sprinkled liberally over the seats and the floor mats. You might even find an occasional fast-food wrapper or a few French fries in the mix.

I really love my new car even though it required detailed instructions from my salesperson on how to unlock it, start it, or even drive it. My only real complaint is that it is kind of bossy. If I get distracted and inadvertently stray over the white dividing line, it will beep loudly and yank the wheel back to return me to my proper lane. If I do this several times, it will flash an alert that says I better stop and get a cup of coffee. I am surprised it doesnt have an onboard cappuccino machine, or a feature that will text my order and navigate to the nearest Starbucks drive thru. Though, I prefer this sort of guidance to the old method, which was my wife looking exasperated and pointing her index finger toward the direction she thought I should be heading. Its much easier on our marriage too.

So, for those few, who still want to drive 50 miles an hour over the speed limit on Coast Highway, darting in and out of traffic, I have bad news: the cars of our future will not be likely to cooperate. But for the rest of us—sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride.

David is a resident of Newport Beach, and even though he recently bought an electric vehicle, his favorite vehicle is still his 1987 VW Vanagon Westfalia. His wife Ann would disagree.

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