Take out the papers and the trash, Or you don’t get no spendin’ cash
If you don’t scrub that kitchen floor, You ain’t gonna rock and roll no more
Yakety yak (don’t talk back) – The Coasters
I have a childhood friend who moved to a house in New Orleans that was a few doors down from a bar that stayed open until 4 a.m. Of course, the Realtor disclosed it to him. He didn’t mind; in fact he was somewhat heartened by the idea that, on a whim, he could hoist one last one, then stumble 200 feet home. That’s New Orleans rolling out the welcome mat.
What they didn’t disclose was that his lawn would be littered with beer bottles and trash the next day. There was little he could do, except pick it up, and of course, not talk back. And eventually, move.
I mention this because many of you who are privileged enough to live steps from the beach complain about the very same thing. Now I’m not suggesting you move, and before you deluge me with angry invective, yes I know it’s not like you moved next to a bar (unless of course you did—with an ocean adjacent). But most of you are just the collateral damage of being the chosen few to live next to the ultimate amusement park, the Pacific Ocean. And yes many who visit us are savages in need of some civilizing. I blame it on our tainted food system, frankly.
We are being invaded by knuckleheads and philistines who think it’s no biggie to project detritus into our streets that will eventually find its way into our sewers, our ocean, and finally our ears. And yes they defecate on our South Laguna lawns because we still don’t have public bathrooms or trashcans, despite having some of the very best beaches. They also litter in our open space now that Laguna has been discovered as the premier outdoor mecca it is. So yes I agree it’s filthy, destructive, and it’s harshing our mellow.
What can we do besides the impossible-to-enforce ban on plastic—which is a good start? But litter comes in all materials. Have you seen how much paper packaging goes into a single order at Jack in the ole’ Crack? It’s a tsunami of wrappers, napkins, bags, more wrappers, and ketchup and relish dispensers, which only comes in handy if you get lost in the woods in New Jersey on a cold winter night.
There is only one answer, and it’s the age-old one: education. Forcefully and repeatedly. And that’s why our little tourist bureau that could, Visit Laguna, is attempting to get buy-in from all relevant stakeholders to make Laguna a “Leave No Trace” city, part of the Leave No Trace Center for Outdoor Ethics national campaign. Pretty nifty, our fair city is being modeled on Burning Man.
Yes, a campaign with signage, advertising, brochures, and the only thing that really matters, social media, But can it work, or are we living in the jaded, attention-deficit, post-education era? I believe it can if it’s comprehensive, clever, and contains a tangible call to action. And I nominate Coast Film Festival co-founder and avid outdoorsman Ben Warner’s pledge to pick up three pieces of trash every time he goes out as our rallying cry. It’s part of his own strategy to keep our open spaces clean through his lagunapromise.com campaign, which includes many Laguna environmental groups.
So what if we parlayed that practice into a citywide campaign of “Do your part, pick up three pieces to start.” It’s a mantra and we could produce a viral campaign of locals who take the pledge, and literally walk the walk of a trash-free city. Pro tip: always carry a small trash bag and thin gloves—your trash eradication kit.
Let’s do this people. Let’s clean up our act and everybody else’s and take personal responsibility for this magnificent slice of heaven we have the divine privilege of calling home and leave it better than we found it. If we can’t stop the tourists from coming, at least when they are going they will surely know a little better about who we are and what we stand for. And maybe behave a little better themselves. And that’s good for our karma scorecards, as well as the environment.
Billy’s new podcast, “Do Good Works” debuts on Thursdays at 8 p.m. beginning in August on KXFM radio.
God Baltimore Billy, you sure like to tell whoppers!
You’re not content to troll, harass and berate others in their columns and LTE, you troll us in what are politely called “op-ed columns,” in fact BF’s Propaganda Pulpit Corner.
That quote “our little tourist bureau that could, Visit Laguna”? How much business do they funnel your way @ La Vida Laguna?
They’ve been getting 1% of our TOT for nearly 20 years, averaging around what, $1.5 million/year? And don’t forget the $$$ siphoned off to the Chamber of Commerce to supplement this promotional effort.
Do the flipping math, $30 million to basically turn Laguna into a Disney, gimmick-laden freak show. Districts, way-finding signs, yeah, that’s why this surfing mecca is no longer.
And stop gaslighting us, it has been their “I Have Some Good News, and I Have Some Bad News” campaign that’s inundated and overwhelmed us with tourism.
A shot in the arm for business is one thing, but if that shot is a steroid, administered every day for 20 years? You get what we have now, borderline chaos for non-business owning locals.
When they got that 1%, no strings attached sweetheart deal (sheltered by non-profit status), they immediately launched the campaign I’m alluding to:
Basically “Laguna Beach: A Year Round Destination Along South Orange County’s Riviera, Its Golden Coast.”
You keep alleging what has been not only accepted as fact, but actually in a contorted logic (must be 4:20 in your house around the clock, Billy Bud) declare that the former Visitors Bureau-cum-Visit Laguna exaggerate, basically are lying when they claim this success.
Approximately 2+million visitors/year in 2001, now 6+ million. So the good news and bad news are the same: More than treble the visitors.
Whoopee for commerce, vacation rental agents and short term lodging owners but bummer for locals who can no longer find a parking space in front of their own homes and whose friends won’t visit in the high season as they can’t either.
Years ago, a Texas judge told a woman who’d been raped, resisted and was beaten mercilessly, that she shouldn’t have struggled, then it wouldn’t have broken bad.
That we rage against the dying of the light is noble, yet you denigrate us as if your righteous vision is superior.
Obviously, you’re so busy looking like the deeply pensive (key here are the words “looking like”), the famous Rodin statue depicting Heraclitus of Ephesus (Le Ponseur–The Thinker), that you’ve left out the critical element: Thinking.
William Blake in an epic poem said in exasperation of the church aristocracy: “The vision of God that thou doest see, is my greatest enemy.”
The vision of Laguna that you, a Right Coast transplant seeking fame and fortune see, is any true So Cal coastal native’s nightmare. Those of us in the surfing culture know totally bogus when we see it.
Methinks you doth not thinketh at all, Le Poseur.
I didn’t move in next to Urth Caffe. It moved in next to me. It’s clientele are tourists and semi local rich kids who litter the surrounding area with trash. Urth should have to pay someone to pick up there trash. Wasting our tax money on propaganda that won’t work is a waste.
. . . up here in Mammoth Lakes, currently and years past, we engage our small community with “Town Clean Up Day,” . . . and ( taking a bow for myself ) I coined a phrase, “A bag a person really helps.” Also note, Laguna Beach Troop 35 ( Boys Scouts of America ) showed and taught us scouts to “leave the environments we ventured into cleaner than we found them . . . ” that said, we didn’t leave the trash we found, WE HIKED IT OUT . . .
back to Mammoth Lakes . . . being in the Sierra fire one of our biggest concerns, and our VisitMammoth tourism folks are broadcasting “Travel and Recreate Responsibly” ((( we have adjusted all of our messaging for summer to really focus on responsible travel. We know we are going to be slammed this summer and we want to be sure we prepare our guests to be as respectful to our community and environment as possible. )))
In my opinion Billy, you said what needed saying, “and take personal responsibility for this magnificent slice of heaven we have the divine privilege of calling home and leave it better than we found it. ” ((( Troop 35, Scoutmaster Elder, and Asst. Scoutmaster Root . . . we were young, and we grew up here in Laguna Beach ( circa 1959 – 1973 ) )))
I’ve been doing( Keep Laguna Green )
For over 2 years, yeah the Facebook page,
I haven’t heard of any of these people.
Grab a bag and get out there early to beat the heat, then come back and enjoy the beach, with honor