I was amazed after reading the Indy story, “Girls Water Polo Captures a Record 4th So Cal Title.” Congratulations. Four in a row makes the girls’ water polo team a dynasty in my water soaked book. Then before this column could even run, the water polo team won the Division 1 title. Another hearty congratulations. This streak begs the question, where do their parents put all the trophies in Laguna’s little, little houses? I can hear the dinner chatter now, “We’ll have to eat alfresco again. Your trophies have taken over the house. Could you throw some games during the rainy season?”
And the individual wins have been impressive with scores of (21-1), (21-1), (11-1), (11-5), and (14-7). For the latest 25 game season, the Laguna squad has outscored opponents 414-83. I can hear their rivals’ dinner chatter now, “We’ll eat inside again. There’s still plenty of space for side dishes and condiments in your empty trophy case.”
Wow. Wow. Wow. How do the girls do this? Jealous rivals maintain that Laguna deflates the ball. School officials scoff at the accusation and say the ball goes back and forth and couldn’t be deflated when Laguna has it and re-inflated when the opposing team has it. But jealous rivals maintain there is no back and forth when Aria Fischer is in the pool. Rivals point to Laguna’s 81 wins and 1 loss when Fischer competes.
I don’t believe the rivals’ contention. I think Fischer’s name says it all. She’s a fish-her. She was born to the water. Take my name Crantz. It’s German and means ‘Sink’ in English. I wouldn’t be a good water polo player for long. “Crantz your in. Crantz where did you go? Has anybody seen Crantz? Oh well. Fischer takeover. Will find Crantz at the end of the match.”
I’m a transplanted Midwesterner. So, I don’t know a lot about water polo. Chicago kids want to play water polo, but the water freezes so fast that the games are called until spring. Spring begins in August. Winter starts in September. And another water polo season gets called. It’s frustrating for Chicago kids and firefighters who free them from the ice.
I believe the girls’ water polo team is the very best at treading water. Most teenagers are fidgety and by their very nature have to be on the move. One typical teenager told me, “I’m not standing still all day. Let’s go to the mall. Let’s buy stuff. Let’s get a massage. Let’s get our nails done. Let’s get our hair done blue. Let’s go see boys, boys, boys. Then let’s talk, talk, talk about the mall, massage, nails, hair and boys, boys, boys.”
Whew. I felt drowned after that teenage explanation. But it reconfirms my awe to just how great the Laguna Beach girls’ water polo team is. You should all feel proud of your accomplishments. And don’t feel bad about filling up your houses with trophies. Let your parents take you out to dinner. You deserve it. Congrats.
Crantz tells the Indy that he has tried water polo, but prefers doing synchronized swimming alone.