Pet Peeves

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Vitruvian Man

By Mark D. Crantz
By Mark D. Crantz

I like reading Indy stories. I learn about what’s happening around me. I was drawn into The Indy’s “Lesson Mixes Art With Science.” A local art teacher demonstrated to the school board how a field trip for second graders to Dana Point’s Ocean Institute was reinforced by painting the sea creatures with details learned from their visit. The children we’re arrested for desecrating Ocean Institute walls with inspired sea life graffiti. The school board agreed to pay the Ocean Institute for all damages and fines.

The children were released and their arrest records sealed.  In a follow up field trip survey, 72% of second graders enjoyed the arrest and wanted to go into a life of crime.

15% of the students enjoyed the arrest and wanted to go into law enforcement. 11% of the children were expelled from public school, grounded by their parents and are now being home schooled. The remaining 2% uploaded the field trip to YouTube and are presently suing Dana Point for police harassment and interference of their rights to a multi-sensory experience.

The new multi sensory program has been dubbed Visual and Performing Arts or VAPA.VAPA partners with the Ocean Institute, the Laguna Art Museum and coordinates with the Laguna Plein Air Artists Association. The VAPA program embodies the cross-circular learning goals of Laguna’s Local Control and Accountability Plan or LCAP.

LCAP stresses students’ college and career readiness, social and emotional strength, and student achievement.

A recent LCAP study shows overwhelming support for the school district’s learning environment and college preparation programs. 93% expressed support for field trips that take elementary school students away from Laguna to perform childish acts of bad

behavior. As one parent explained, “Out of sight. Out of mind. Field trip days are my favorites.” Another parent added, “I just wish they didn’t bring them back. I’m hopeful that the program can be expanded until they field trip them into adulthood when the buggers can support my field trips around the world.”

The very first VAPA program was invented by Leonardo da Vinci, who’s area of expertise was in painting, sculpting, architecture, science, music, mathematics, engineering, literature, anatomy, geology, astronomy, botany, writing, history, cartography and inventions. His wife extolled, “Lenny, don’t you dare tell me that you don’t have time for household chores.” Da Vinci means couch potato in English.

Da Vinci drew the Vitruvian Man accompanied by notes based on the Roman architect, Vitruvius. The drawing is based on the correlations of ideal human proportions as being the principal source of geometrical proportion among the classical orders of architecture and nature. Da Vinci believed the workings of the human body to be an analogy for the workings of the universe. The original Vitruvian Man was drawn in pen and indelible ink on a fellow second grader of Leonardo da Vinci’s while on a canal/field trip in Venice, Italy in 1459.


Crantz tells the Indy that he supports student hijinks, so long as it’s done proportionally and in good nature to other men and excludes Crantz because by da Vinci proportions Crantz is not a man, but ET.

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