Pet Peeves

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502

Ho Hum, Oh Dumb

By Mark D. Crantz
By Mark D. Crantz

I hate people that flip to the last page of a book and read it’s ending. It’s cheating.   Authors work hard to fill up all those pages in between. Readers owe it to authors to read works from beginning to end. Only then can readers say, “This book really sucked. I believe a jury of my peers will agree. I’m suing the author for wasting my valuable time that could have been better-spent watching cat videos on YouTube. See you in court Crantz.”

I don’t want to go to court. So, here’s the Pet Peeve’s ending. It’s a grammatical period. Now that I’ve established full disclosure protection, let’s talk about the Indy’s, “New Arts Survey Reveals Familiar Findings.” I know. I know. Laguna Beach did another survey. Ho hum. Oh dumb. I bet you can guess the ending, too. Yes, I’m encouraging readers to forget reading the entire linked article and go right to the end. I realize this recommendation flies in the face of my earlier advice to read works from beginning to end. But the punishment of another Laguna survey has sent me over the top. I’ve bought a cat and I’m now filming cuteness for the whole world to see. Don’t let this psychotic break happen to you. Just read the ending in the next paragraph or subject yourself, like me, to a life of kitty box ugliness.

Here is the end. “AEA’s (consultant) findings closely mirror those of the cultural arts plan commissioned by the city in 2016 to chart a 10 year plan. There are also similarities to the Vision 2030 report of 2001, compiled with input from 2,000 residents to develop a strategic plan to preserve the town’s character and co-exist with visitors.”

Let’s sum up. There have been three surveys. Three consultants did the surveys. Three consultants were compensated with taxpayer dollars. Three times taxpayers paid for the same findings.

Okay then. The findings preserve the town’s character to waste taxpayer money to co-exist with visitors, a group unaware of the high costs associated to bringing great art to them. It’s obvious we need another survey directed at these unappreciative day-trippers to bring city governance along. Give me the next $121,000 survey fee and I’ll throw in free of charge new future cat videos.

As soon as the city cuts me the consultant check, I’ll send in the new findings that will be the same as 2001, 2016, and 2018. Additional surveys with additional fees for 2020, 2021 and 2022 are available upon request.   Until then, I’m going to give my cat a bath. Even though, I hate getting all that cat hair on my tongue. Ho hum. Oh dumb.

 

Crantz tells the Indy that his cat is just adorable. Even the mice like him.

 

 

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