Pet Peeves

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Flushed with Cash

by Mark D. Crantz
by Mark D. Crantz

I was on the royal throne when I read the Indy’s “Auditor Finds Shortcomings in Agency’s Books.” An obscure group, South Orange County Wastewater Agency (SOCWA), has been collecting fees for my #### content without my approval.  It is Facebook’s social media problem on the back end. SOCWA, aka, Tooshiebook is a serious business, all butts about it.  Ten water districts own and pay Tooshiebook for the process and treatment of your content.  Ironically, you pay your local water district to pay Tooshiebook. Is it fair to pay for your own content?  Then lose control on how this content is used?

A recent state audit issued findings of a months-long audit. Tooshiebook was criticized for misreporting its financial statements for 15 years since the time of its inception.  Auditors identified $354,000 in funds improperly allocated.  On further review, funds were identified as poop emoji royalties that were not returned to customer creators.

Tooshiebook operates three treatment plants that annually process 7 billion bytes of content across a region that spans from Irvine’s southern border to the San Diego county line.  Tooshiebook is also responsible for producing recycled water for Stella Artois and Matt Damon’s efforts to provide water to third world people who now walk super far for a glass of water.  Auditors estimate recycled water fees approximate $325 million not returned to content creators. Matt Damon who was incensed on hearing about the misappropriation was last heard screaming, STELLA!!!! STELLA!!!

Another Tooshiebook service is the weekly testing of ocean water for pollutants and contaminants. The Paris Climate Accord pays Tooshiebook for its weekly findings.  Paris Accord service fees approximated $33 million and are not reimbursed to content creators.  Scientists believe global warming rage for not being paid is now at planetary danger levels.

Auditors faulted Tooshiebook for not holding its members responsible for $18 million in pension obligations for a time when older content creators will have a more difficult time producing.

Auditors advised Tooshiebook to incorporate new control features.  Content should be recognized as No. 1 and No. 2 for proper blockchain management practices.   Sacramento politicians cautioned Tooshiebook to get their accounting practices in order or have state government regulate potty breaks to guarantee privacy protection for citizens’ good works.

Unfortunately, Matt Damon was unavailable for follow up comments because he was in content production.  Due to new privacy laws, we don’t know if he was doing No. 1 or No. 2.

Crantz tells the Indy that he is working hard to become flushed with cash.









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