Pet Peeves

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By Mark Crantz
By Mark Crantz

These are exciting times we live in. The City Council gave approval for the Village Entrance. It took four decades. That’s longer than the first knock-knock joke. Laguna children didn’t understand knock-knock jokes because there wasn’t anything to knock on. This made venturing into the outside world difficult for them. As one young person recalled, “I was always trying to get in an exit. I’ve had my nose broken 17 times. After several years of smacking my nose to spite my face, I ran into an excellent cosmetic surgeon going the right way. He straightened me out and married me. It wouldn’t have happened, if Laguna had an entrance. Thank you, City Council.”

Only one City Councilperson remains, who was there when talks began 40 years ago.  She recalls, “The first proposal was a joke of sorts. A former councilperson suggested putting in a Dutch door, so he could answer the door at night without having to remember to put his pants on first. He’s gone now to the great council in the sky. Come to think of it, I remember going to his funeral. It was open casket. But only half opened. I’ll bet he didn’t have pants on then, either.”

She continued to remunerate about the good old days. The original price tag was 11 cents. Today’s price tag is $11.1 million. But don’t get caught up with the price difference. Instead, we should be thanking the City Council for not waiting another 40 years, when the projected costs will be $11.1 trillion and the hotel tax to support it will be 99.9 percent. And she thanks Amazon for staying out of the entrance business and not buying it from under us.

It seems fitting the City Council awarded the building contract to C.S. Legacy. Sure they were the lowest bidder, but more importantly, it was their name that got them in the door that they now will build. And like their name, Laguna will now have a legacy to leave to future generations of school children. They will now be able to understand knock-knock jokes. “Knock-Knock. Who’s there? C.S. Legacy. C.S. who? C.S. as in, Can See more overruns. *

The door will be finished by June 2020. That’s a prophetic finish date. Hindsight is 2020. But when the village entrance history is written for school children to learn, it will be said that the City Council was the first government body where foresight is 2020 and hindsight is…

“Knock. Knock. Who’s there? Your $20.20 trillion legacy overrun. Accounts Receivable calling.”


Crantz tells the Indy that he’s on the digester pot doing his best thinking on how to generate more public funds to restore this neglected part of the Village Entrance project. And he recommends C.S. Legacy because they’ll come under budget. His overrun talk before were just silly jokes.








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