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Tag: "Pet Peeves"

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Pet Peeves: Water Wise

Pet Peeves: Water Wise

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach is good for walks on the beach. CSI found my footprints and I’m reporting to you readers while on the run. Apparently, waves do not wash away all footprints. I don’t like being a fugitive, but what’s worse is imagining the end. That’s when CSI’s David Caruso snatches […]

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Pet Peeves: No More Dirty Looks

Pet Peeves: No More Dirty Looks

By Mark D. Crantz   I found paradise in Laguna Beach. Now the trick is figuring out how to stay here. My 201K can buy you only so many nights. I’ve called my therapist, Dr. Arnie Paypal for advice on a suitable second career. He says it’s most important to follow your passion. Dr. Paypal’s […]

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Pet Peeves: Making an Entrance

Pet Peeves: Making an Entrance

Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, what about an entrance?  Truth be told, I’m more an expert about exits. “Here’s the door. Get lost, buddy.” I’ve always thought the “buddy” at the end was hopeful even though I was being shown the door.  I’ve seen the backside of many doors in […]

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Pet Peeves: Hold That CO2

Pet Peeves: Hold That CO2

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, there’s CO2.  For those readers not familiar with these elements in the periodic table, I want to know where you were instead of chemistry class in high school.  Be careful with your answer because there’s no statute of limitation on […]

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Pet Peeves: Makeovers

Pet Peeves: Makeovers

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, there are makeovers.  These changes are for the most part good. The Main Beach lifeguard tower is getting a makeover, which includes a new roof, stucco repair and new paint. And the former Laguna Federal Savings and Loan Association on […]

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Pet Peeves: Parking

Pet Peeves: Parking

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but there isn’t any parking.  Back to the airport kids. We’ll just make do in long-term parking. Our vacation will still be fun.  You’ll see.  Will play license plate switch and call in BOLOs (Be on the Lookout) to the local authorities.  That […]

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Pet Peeves: Smugglers

Pet Peeves: Smugglers

By Mark D. Crantz Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but there’s drug smuggling.  Oh no!  Recently, 1,200 lbs. of marijuana was seized in Crystal Cove by the authorities.  Concerned with the sanctity of the chain of evidence, federal agents opted to burn the marijuana and triumphantly stand to the south or down wind […]

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Pet Peeves: Holy Cow

Pet Peeves: Holy Cow

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, the Pope quit.  Holy Cow! As only the late Chicago Cubs broadcaster, Harry Caray could say it best.  It shouldn’t have come as a complete surprise because the Pope did make the announcement during Lent, a time for giving up […]

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Pet Peeves: Grieving for Plastic

Pet Peeves: Grieving for Plastic

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but now plastic bags are outlawed.  Oh no! Although we were forewarned almost a year ago, I wasn’t prepared for the loss of the phrase, “Will that be plastic or paper?” You see what I liked about the question is that it did […]

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Pet Peeves: Resolutions

Pet Peeves: Resolutions

By Mark Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in paradise, but now it’s time to make New Year resolutions. Oh no!  And this year I’m not prepared because I was counting on my Mayan calendar to get me out of this time worn ritual. Darn those magnetic fields. If they had just reversed there […]

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Little-Known Thanksgiving History  By Mark D. Crantz, Special to the Independent Another perfect day in Paradise, but then there’s Thanksgiving. This year I’m celebrating Thanksgiving Up! Anybody who has read “Pet Peeves” cannot be surprised that I’m a turkey in general and specifically inept at feelings, as well as, family get-togethers.  Not that I haven’t […]

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Pet Peeves: Senior Moments

Pet Peeves: Senior Moments

By: Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but there are senior moments. The other day I found myself staring at the kitchen cabinet, not wondering why I was there, but why the cabinet wasn’t there.  Then later that week, I remembered my wife was remodeling the kitchen and if I […]

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Pet Peeves: Genius

Pet Peeves: Genius

By Mark D. Crantz  Another perfect day in paradise, but there’s “Genius.” No, it’s not me. Although often mistaken for Albert Einstein, it’s our runaway hair, aversion to barbers with sharp instruments, and the shared delight we both have in sticking our tongues out at paparazzi that contributes to the mistaken identity.  Below our hair […]

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Pet Peeves: Trolleys

Pet Peeves: Trolleys

By Mark D. Crantz   Laguna Beach.  Another perfect day in Paradise, but oh no, there are the trolleys.  I know.  I know. Everybody likes the trolleys, but me. I can’t help myself. The trolleys are like the swallows that return to Capistrano without the annual cost overruns on gas and maintenance. According to aviary […]

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Pet Peeves

Pet Peeves

Got Your Goat  Another perfect day in Paradise, butt there are the goats.  No butts about it, I have goats on the brain. It all started several months ago due to an alert, sophisticated, and debonair Indy reader, me, who read to myself, without moving my lips, thanks to the Evelyn Wood speed reading class […]