Useless ‘Lyptus Speaks Out

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My name is Hugh. Hugh Calyptus. I come from Australia.

Actually, I was abducted from Australia and abandoned here in

Laguna Beach.  But don’t get me wrong, I love it here in beautiful

Laguna.  It has all those marvelous “view sheds” and other fantastic

features too numerous to mention.

Recently, its come to my attention that some citizens of our

fair city have called me a useless tree that blocks their view of the

ocean. Well, excuse me!

I hate to claim seniority, but I’ve been around for more than 55

million years!  How long you humans been around, huh?  Just askin’.

Useless is a bit harsh, don’t you think? OK, my worthy opponent, the

Pacific Ocean, is gorgeous. I’ll grant you that, but I ain’t exactly

chopped liver myself, you know (in fact, full disclosure: I’m made of


But some of the more sensitive humans in your group think I’m a

real thing of beauty and deem it an honor to share the planet with me.

So how about givin’ a blue gum a break?  Next time you see me

standing on the corner, come over and give me a pat on the back. I’d

appreciate it; I could use a little love right about now.

P.S. The oldest recorded fossils of my ancestors were found in

Argentina in an area called Laguna del Hunco.  So you see, in a way, I

am a native of Laguna!


Tim Gaul, Laguna Beach

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