Ask not…
President Kennedy’s famous inspirational message applies at a small scale here in Laguna too.
How could we be more blessed? A lovely historic village by the sea. Twenty three thousand of us have the privilege of living here out of all of the people in the whole world!
What’s more it’s a real community. Everyone doing his or her part to contribute to that warm feeling that comes from belonging and fitting in, part of a spirit that makes our community better every day. Or that’s the theory.
Lately I get the feeling that this “real community” idea is becoming more a myth than reality. After attending so many meetings recently where the discussion is all about “my life, my house, my views, my privacy, what my business needs…” Is it a real community, or just a bunch of people fighting for their piece of the pie?
Requests have become angry demands. Working things out seems to have a hostile cast. Statements made in public meetings become theatrical hyperbole without regard for feelings of the people spoken about.
If your children talked the way many adults speak in public meetings these days, would you reward them or send them upstairs for a time out? Shouldn’t an adult standard be even higher?
In a marriage, partners’ harsh words can only be put up with for so long before it becomes abuse and not to be tolerated. The loving commitment starts to fray and the marriage is in jeopardy.
Our community is in jeopardy unless we can regenerate community spirit and adopt a generous view that is not only about philanthropy, but about acceptance of the quirks and inequalities that are a part of community living in a place where nothing is standardized.
It’s the non-standardization that is inherent in the charm we love about Laguna. A different house around every corner, small lots, large lots, unusually shaped steep lots. Someone lives next to a school, someone near a fire station, some behind a store or upstairs from a restaurant, next to the ocean or in a canyon, some with dramatic views, some can walk to the beach, others are near hillside trails. All these situations have their benefits and less desirable aspects. But overall being here in this community means that every single one of these situations is way more wonderful than any of us deserves.
We all benefit from this beautiful setting and all the community building, thoughtfulness and energy that have gone before our lifetimes or our arrival in Laguna. The community gives our life here the value that is reflected in our well-being and in the assets on our balance sheet.
That community is what we should continue to foster in our speeches and in our work. With that we will not have to demand or look after our own small interests. What we love will come back to us in ways that will bring tears to our eyes. Not because we deserve it but because we have given our energies to make the community even better.
Ask not. Give more of ourselves.
Landscape architect Ann Christoph is a former council member.
