Wisdom Workout

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Get Over It

By Susan McNeal Velasquez

Have you ever tried to water a garden with a leaking hose? The more leakage from holes in the line, the less water pressure out of the nozzle. Harboring resentment from past or present slights and disappointments has the same effect on our energy levels.

None of us live in a vacuum. We interact with many people each day. There is no universal code of ethics, therefore, we are bombarded with small irritations, blatant rudeness and full-scale upsets with our mates, children, co-workers, neighbors or family members. Resistance, resentment and failed or successful plots to take revenge seem to dominate our airwaves and are often the theme of overheard conversations spewing from stranger’s cellphone conversations.

Resentment seems to be the subliminal soundtrack of modern life.

When we decide to take responsibility for creating and maintaining the quality of our personal experience, checking for resentment leaks in our energy hose can yield some interesting insights.

Resentment occurs in our interpersonal relationships when we expect one experience and get another. We want what we want. We get what we get. We want something positive yet what we get, we perceive as negative, insulting, unjust or invalidating and anger begins to brew.

Politeness, good breeding, slow reaction time, confusion, and/or fear of confrontation all conspire to block the energetic bubbling of righteous indignation from immediate expression. The blocked energy settles down and finds a resting-place somewhere in the recesses of our mind; squirreled away with other incidents of repressed displeasure.

Energy just is. Expecting one thing and getting another creates disappointment and resentment. There is a saying that depression is anger turned inward. The definitions of depress are: to cause a sink to a lower position; to lessen the activity or strength of; to sadden, discourage.

When unacknowledged and unexpressed resentment stagnates, we begin to feel victimized by life. Our creative energy starts to work against us. The magic of authoring a full, rich, productive, forward-moving life takes a U-turn.

Is the answer to handling resentment to explode in a volcanic eruption every time our expectations are thwarted? Not unless you want to be part of the problem.

Most of us like to think of ourselves as sane, reasonable and hey, even nice. The image of built-up resentment sludge that clogs our energy hose is less than flattering to our ego but is extremely important to acknowledge if we truly want mastery in the art of authentic management of our creative energy.

Some of us have so much unresolved resentment that our garden hose looks like a boa constrictor that swallowed a cow. We need to understand that stored resentment contaminates our ability to powerfully take ownership of our lives.

When we commit to treating everyone, including ourselves, with respect, our core personal power expands to include innate kindness as a core value.

When we commit to speaking our truth, rather than expounding our opinions, our creative energy flows naturally. The saying, ‘the truth hurts’ is false. If what we say causes harm, we simply are not yet connected to our real truth. By digging deeper, we can clear out faulty motives and arrive at a clear message unfettered by old, buried resentments and disappointments that stem from our thwarted expectations from the past.

By acknowledging and then forgiving past slights, we patch up the leaks in our energy hose. By establishing a creative purpose for ourselves, we can then redirect the force of our energy away from nursing old wounds and towards creating a full, rich and rewarding life.

Susan is a local author of the emotional resource book “Beyond Intellect: Journey Into the Wisdom of Your Intuitive Mind.” Learn more atsusanvelasquez.com.

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