Wisdom Workout

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Tend and Befriend

Are you a person who values commitment or are you an involvement person? If commitment is your strong suit, you score high in reliability. You do what you say you will do. You plan your work and work your plan. Task focus rules. When events go awry, you systematically backtrack to uncover any faulty decisions. You can get caught in over-thinking and hyper-vigilance, which can turn counter-productive.

If involvement is more your style, you have curiosity about people and seek out new experiences. You contribute energy to relationships and enjoy including others. You value cooperation. You are sensitive to the moods of others and you have to feel right before you take action. You take time to consider others feelings. Timely action sometimes gets sacrificed in your quest for harmony. When you get stuck, you put out more feeling energy. You become a whirlwind of anxiety, runaway emotions, and your life can become over-dramatic.

It is natural to go to our strong suit when things aren’t working the way we want. The way out is to switch strategies. If you are a commitment person, rather than making more lists of things to do, give your mind a rest. Take a walk. Let go of your vice-like grip on reality. Take a deep breath. Revisit why you are involved in this pursuit in the first place. Look around for beauty in your environment and let nature give you some of its energy.

Involvement people, instead of staying stuck in overwhelming feelings, go to paper. Get specific about events and identify your feelings about what is happening. Look for those places where you are over-reacting. Identify a few simple steps you can take and do them. Make a plan and stick to it. Break the task down into easy-to-execute steps that will move you forward. Give your feelings a rest. Allow your past successes to fuel your resolve.

When we are both committed and involved, we create room to accomplish our goals while enjoying the ride. Take time this week to invite clear-minded determination and wholehearted enthusiasm into your life.  Tend to business while giving yourself full permission to befriend, to love, and cherish your life and the people in it.

Susan teaches on-going self-inquiry workshops locally. She is the author of “Beyond Intellect: Journey Into the Wisdom of Your Intuitive Mind.” www.susanvelasquez.com. Contact her at: (949) 494-7773.

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