Read The Personals
INVESTORS – Opportunity to make lots of money; mobile shops selling clothing, food,
household items. We will sell platters of finger tea sandwiches, mini-pumpkin pies for
singles, jeans, t-shirts, sandals – tell us what you need/invest. #ComeOnnaMyTruck
NEW FRIENDS – Moved from Canada. Looking for meaningful relationships. Male/female send photo of yourself with short bio, include age and likes –type of foods, entertainment, sports. No politics please! Single female nurse (40s) seeking friends only. #NotRached
TRAINER NEEDED – Looking for young woman to help me exercise; you should be
under 30 and able to do jumping jacks, aerobic dance, acrobatics/tumbling and also help
me run around track. Good figure & wardrobe a big plus. #EngineNeedsTuneup
ALASKA CRUISE – Must sacrifice pre-paid first-class cabin with veranda – you can step outside, relax on your deck chair and get a tan (if it’s warm enough and sunny – if it’s not, then you can’t). I won this as a charity prize — cannot use it. Must clear this with cruise line. #FloridaBeachBum
HAPPY THANKSGIVING CRAIG. I don’t know you. You don’t know me either. I doubted that you ever really existed but you made me a believer. For years I tried to sell stuff. No luck. I used you. BOOM! Your column is awesome! I sold stuff on there that I could never get rid of. #CraigRocks
Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist and poet, is a resident of Laguna Woods.
Miss D.
If it were me I wouldn’t want the Alaska cruise either. Very funny! Looking forward to the holiday edition!
Many thanks for the comment, GeeDee.
Sorry about the typo in NEW FRIENDS. It should have been signed:
#NotRatched (after the famous nurse in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”
“mini-pumpkin pies for singles”
__________
Only if they’re pumpkin tarts with whipped cream from Cuisine Centr’Halles in Avignon!
Hi Dennis Paine,
The least you could do is to email a few to us. Are you telling us the truth or trying to sell us a bridge?
Merci.