Opinion: Pet Peeves


Life Coach-Lesson 4

By Mark Crantz

We are weeks into the coronavirus pandemic. You are probably going stir crazy. You are not alone. Many people feel the same way. As your life coach, I’ll say it is important to stay busy. If you’re stuck at home, this is an opportunity to get to all those little home repair projects you’ve never had time to get to. And don’t try to get out of doing things because you say you’re not handy. Everyone is handy. Remember, idle hands are the work of the devil. Wow, you jumped off the couch like a pitchfork got you. That’s a good start.

Here’s a project I’m working on. Together, we’ll start on an easy one. I’m cleaning out the lint tray.  It’s a small task, but an important one.  Too much lint can cause a fire.  While fire is nature’s way of cleansing, you don’t want your house to catch fire.  Sure it’s a foolproof way to get rid of coronavirus, but insurance companies are on to this scam and won’t payout.   Put the matches down.

Let’s get to work.  Lift up your shirt.  You will find lots of lint in your navel.  How it gets there is a mystery.  Depending on your age will depend on how long it takes to complete this task.  I’m old so it took several hours of digging.  It was worth the effort.  Besides the lint, I found a missing tube sock from 1992, a set of car keys for my first car, a 1976 bright orange AMC Gremlin and the most treasured find my old teenage Velcro strapped wallet with one unused condom inside.  I had no need for that at my advanced age, so I put it up on eBay.

Now look at yourself.  You finished off a project.  It makes you feel more positive about things.  Your energy level has been given a boost.  So, let’s tackle Project #2.  It’s time to replace all the household batteries.  Send a young person to the local hardware store.  But be sure to pick a delivery person, who did not go to Florida on spring break.  They are walking coronavirus carriers.  Find a teenage gamer, who has never left his house.  Instruct him to buy the following batteries AA; AAA; AAAA; AAAAAA; AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA; one C; one D; and one Tesla battery.  Now there will be no surprises during the replacement project.

How did you do?  I’m guessing you got the fire alarms done, replaced batteries for the TV remotes, the spare flashlights, electric toothbrush and the thermostat.  Is that it?  Nope, you missed the most important ones.  Here’s a hint…they’re needed south of the navel.  It’s the most important battery operated devices during your solitary house confinement.

Toasty. Now you’re all set to stay warm with your battery operated electric socks.   

Crantz tells the Indy that he’s thinking about tackling larger home repair.  He’s going to change all his rooms into garages. Shhh…don’t tell Design Review.

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