Partridge Family Tree
Timberrrr…yelled an ocean view advocate when he heard Laguna Beach is just a step away from being designated an official Tree City USA by the Arbor Day Foundation. The coveted designation requires having a city tree department, a tree care ordinance, an urban tree fund and a partridge in a pear tree. An executive search committee is now reviewing partridge candidates recommended by the National Audubon Society.
Laguna celebrated its first Arbor Day observance on Wednesday, March 7, by planting a Torrey pine into a pre-dug hole in Jahraus Park, across from the Laguna Art Museum. Nearly 20 organizations set up booths to provide meet and greet opportunities for canines well known to christen trees throughout the local area. Other events featured activities for kids, including, carving initials in trees and how to hang tire swings in trees. Adult events included composting advice on how to throw #### at your neighbors and explain it to authorities as a save the planet fertilizing action. Another adult seminar teaches developers on how to secure tree house building permits and breeze through Design Review.
Ten lucky kids from the Laguna Boys and Girls Club planted the Torrey pine with gold shovels. One child remarked, “Reminds me of planting granddad last summer. Hope this one grows back. Granddad didn’t.” At the conclusion of the planting ceremony, only three gold shovels were returned. A Boys and Girls Club spokesman said, “Our kids didn’t take the shovels. The police would be well advised to look at the Susi Q Senior Center. Social Security checks don’t go so far these days.”
The day after the ceremony, a homeless man complained that the Torrey pine blocked his ocean view. The man was replanted up the canyon road. Officials close to the situation defended their action, “Our first priority is to secure the Tree City USA designation. Then we can go after the Homeless City USA designation once we can guarantee enough shade for them.”
I checked back in on the status of finding a partridge in a pear tree. An executive search spokesman said, “Not so good. Partridges are non-migratory birds and none of them want to move here. They won’t come for a song, so we’ve sweetened the offer. If all else fails, we will relocate the complaining homeless man back to Jahraus Park, change his name to Riley Partridge and provide a free hammock for him in a newly planted pear tree.”
Sounds good. It will be the life of Riley with ocean view for him and a first ever Tree City USA designation for us.
Crantz tells the Indy if a tree falls in a forest it does make a sound. A bear in the woods composting told him so.
