Read the Personals
MY BIG FAT OVAL TRAMPOLINE for sale. My kids nagged me to buy it for years. Nobody uses it anymore. $300 OBO. Above ground pool is also for sale – only $600. Let’s make a deal for both – good price/bargain. #IWantMyYardBack
LOST: MY HEART to a pretty gal with blue eyes and long blonde hair – Laguna Beach Shuttle. You got off at The Cliff restaurant. Maybe you’re a server there? You – 20s, blue shorts with white t-shirt. Please make contact. #BeachBum
79 YEAR OLD, ex-beauty queen looking for male partner for dance contest. Me – petite, energetic silver-haired lady with good dance moves. You? Your own teeth and hair, good dresser/ white shoes/belt a big plus. #MamboMomma
BIG, NEIGHBORHOOD SEX PARTY. Actually, it’s just a massive neighborhood yard sale – just trying to get your attention. We have everything from classic used cars, furniture, rugs, books, paintings, you name it. Cheap. #ComeOnnaMyHouse
ELVIS IMPERSONATOR – I’ve been doing Elvis for more than 15 years. Let me send you a clip and top references. Sing and dance – keyboard and mic – white suit, all the right moves. Entertainment – over an hour – $300. #BlueSuedeShoes
Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist, lives in Laguna Woods.