I subconsciously put off reading the Indy article “Ballot Measure Decision Put Off.” To bury or not to bury wires puts me off. Only village entrance articles put me off more. I get so frustrated by the eternal discussions that I wonder how I’ll get out from under this funky feeling of malaise and hopelessness. Then it hits me. Everybody with a dog in these races will agree to bury all wires under the new Lower Park Plaza that will be the final site of the ephemeral village entrance.
Wow, I killed three birds with one paragraph. It’s true the word is mightier than the shotgun. It’s a heady feeling to bring warring parties together after so many years of dissension. I like this new hopeful feeling I have. Let’s double down.
For south Laguna wires, we’ll bury them under the Community Garden. To complete the work, Caltrans buys the garden. No more, pesky fund-raising by gardeners. No more city land expenditures to trouble Laguna taxpayers. Just bountiful crops free of charge. Of course, the farmers market can’t compete. But we will blame Amazon, while recapturing priceless parking spaces that the weekly farmers market takes up.
I’m downright giddy with our new success to work together. Let’s triple down. Hmm, what else can we get done? I got it. We’ll change the city’s sales tax rules. Right now the council needs a two-thirds majority vote for a specific sales tax usage. The city council is wrestling with raising the sales tax 1% to 8.75%. This tax is aimed to bury wires and voters will say yeah or nay on the November ballot. However, the council is up in the air on whether the sales increase will be specific to usage or be used for general purposes. General usage is easier to get because it needs a simple majority compared to specific usage that needs a two-thirds majority. Let me simplify. A simple majority will permit the city to bury wires, as well as to hire consultants, consultants, consultants, consultants and consultants on future whims, whims, whims, whims, whims and whims. I predict some general purposing will be used to consider future un-burying of wires to get back that old Laguna vibe.
It seems clear that specific usage is the way to go. Let’s make it easier. I suggest for all future sales tax considerations that we flip the tax rule. A simple majority is needed for specific projects and a two-thirds vote for general raises, raises, raises, pensions, pensions, pensions.
So readers, what’s it going to be? All in favor say yeah. Those opposed say nay. (Silence ensues.) Hello, anybody out there? Anybody cares? Looks like a deadlock of ennui. I shouldn’t have tripled downed. Busted. My suggestion is tabled for now. But all is not lost. We doubled down and got the community garden. Farm to that kind of table is a win.
Crantz tells the Indy that tripling down and losing the tax vote should wipe out all the previous wins. That’s Las Vegas rules. However, Crantz makes up the rules as he goes. He says it keeps him giddy with success.
