Take Turns
One of the first things I learned in elementary school—you have to take turns. Give everyone a chance. So, when I was called to the principal’s office, I always made some other kid go. My record is spotless and remains unsealed.
I was surprised that the school board is not taking turns. If anybody should be setting an example for school children, it should be them. I looked into it. Unfortunately, school board members’ records are sealed and unavailable.
Let’s not jump to conclusions—another lesson I learned in school. It’s important to get all the facts. Look at the issue from both sides. Then see which side would benefit you most and shred any evidence contrary to your best interests.
While there’s no indication that any shredding has gone on, there was a small notice on the school bulletin board that the booster club has finished creating the most pounds of confetti ever for the upcoming Patriots Day Parade. Related or not, it is at least a coincidence. I am preparing a new bulletin board notice to convene a student puzzle group interested in gathering thrown confetti and piecing together the whole picture. Interested parties should be detailed-oriented and ready to keep secrets from their parents. Burner phones will be provided.
Supposedly, school board rules state that board members should take turns being president. Some concerned parents believe that this is not happening because only the president can add agenda items and is refusing to add “It’s your turn,” to the next guy. The status quo doesn’t want a new agenda set. A freedom of information request reveals that the new guy wants to mandate kale to replace all other food groups in school cafeterias. The second new guy’s agenda item is to have the past president report to the cafeteria immediately to blanch all kale for the students.
We didn’t have kale when I was in sixth grade, but I knew a thing or two about taking turns. I didn’t. I was elected schoolroom president each month for the entire year. Simultaneously, I was captain of patrols for the entire year, too. It was a dynasty. I wanted to take turns, but my Russian pen-pal absentee voters would not have it. This was the 1950s. I’m confident when historians write about my dynasty years, they will conclude it was lukewarm, which says a lot about improving those cold war years.
Crantz tells the Indy he peaked in sixth grade and burnt out by seventh. He was happy his power days came early, because he wrote his memoirs by eighth grade. He now enjoys coasting and passing the reigns to others. Want a turn?
