Does the Wet Suit You?

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Times Gone By

By JJ Gaspaarotti
By JJ Gaspaarotti

During the last class period on the last day before summer vacation, the clock in Ms. Thesauri’s English class went backwards. It went from 2:59 p.m. to 2:56 p.m. Divine intervention didn’t do this. It was the heavy thumb of the principal Dr. Demerits Ph.d. on the central clock control in his office, adding three minutes to the longest hour of the school year. Just enough time to distribute the dreaded summer reading list.

Our school administrators are back to their old tricks of playing with time. They revived the idea to rejigger the school calendar. A committee of expert chefs have been in the back simmering up this bubbling cauldron of road kill stew. They acted real surprised when they rolled it out at a school board study session and nobody wanted a bowl full. Not even the board putting on its best yum yum face made it any more palatable. Most in attendance complained that this was the same bad recipe the board tried to serve up a while ago. The board then formed another committee to survey if there are any spices that could be added to hornswoggle us into thinking this stew tastes good.

The worst part of this bad idea is who is not going to be on that new committee and who they are not going to ask. Only parents, teachers and administrators will be in on this process. No need to ask the community as a whole what we think of the idea.

Never mind that our local property taxes pay 87% of the bills. Laguna spends on average over $18,000 a year per student. That’s about 150% of the national average and way over double the average for California students. For our contribution we should have a say.

There doesn’t seem to be any real reason driving this change. Mention is made of AP tests needed for more study time. At 18K per student, quality should best quantity. Somebody said the teachers asked for it. But when did you ever hear of teachers getting anything they ask for?

The lingering odor of athletes foot powder makes some suspect the football program. The last time they had an issue it was with that sissy mascot name: the Artists. Now we’re the Breakers with generations of tradition flushed down the drain in a crooked election. Nobody asked the alumni then.

This proposed change has more impact than showering the neighbors with foul balls. The school board should reach out to the entire community for a change this momentous.


JJ Gasparotti moved to Laguna Beach with his family when he was 11yrs old. He has loved it ever since.


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  1. “Laguna spends on average over $18,000 a year per student. That’s about 150% of the national average and way over double the average for California students. For our contribution we should have a say.”

    And for all that money, the educrats haven’t even been vaccinating the kids properly. Bad health care, mediocre education, but BIG BUCKS. You know what the problem is? Not enough money. Shovel in more until the unions say “enough.” (Just kidding. That word is not in their vocabulary.)


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