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By Irene DeBasio
By Irene DeBasio

ANTI-STRAW PROTEST group forming.  Don’t let the wait staff or bartender put that plastic straw in your drink!  Straws pollute the atmosphere and cause damage to the environment. Group forming at Polly’s Pies, Sunday 11 a.m.  #ThisIsTheLastStraw


HOMEMADE PASTRIES, cakes and cookies – special dishes I make for you for joyful parties. My sister, Alexandra, has group of dancing girls in beautiful entertaining costumes. We make fine party for you; $200 including all. #TiffanyBylczinski


HOT INVESTMENT opportunity –Ground floor chance to make a bundle of cash.  I have vintage pinball machines and loads of gaming equipment to set up portable arcades. Need to find locations with good foot traffic.  #TommyPinballWizard


HI, I’M GREG – Good-looking, 5’10” – 53 years old, strong – good head of hair, got my teeth. Looking for live-in work as maintenance man, odd jobs, dog sitting, tree cutting, car detailing. Just out of jail/minor crime.  #StartingOver


BUSY ACTRESS – Starting new television season – I need energetic housekeeper/nanny who can run my home, take care of two young children, help me out running errands. Must have excellent references. Fabulous salary.  #BeMyStand-in


Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist and poet, lives in Laguna Woods.




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  1. Ms. DeBlasio,

    Please don’t tell me you’re going to cause a ruckus at Polly’s on Sunday! I might, in fact, be there and will be looking for you. I’ll be the elderly gent in the group of counter-protesters.

    Please consider scheduling a sit in at Farmer Boy. It’s more within my budget and I can’t seem to stay upright for too long.


    a probable neighbor and life-long straw-user

  2. Geedee, I share your deep concern about the stupidity of this protest.

    Seattle is attempting to ban straws and plastic utensils — after a lifetime.

    If you are at Polly’s, I will happily stand with you. There are so many more important things to protest against. Thank you for your comment.


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