Read the Personals
TWIN SISTERS – 37 years old. We sing and dance, we bake deliciousness from the homeland. We are work live-in maids, for big or small house. We clean, cook and make happy entertainments in exchange for safe place to live. #Tina&Nina
KATRINA FLOATING Saturn – beautiful vintage car rescued from Hurricane Katrina. She spent a couple of weeks in floods but she’s all dried out now, in pretty good shape. She needs a little work, maybe a coat of paint. Best offer. #SaturnRising
DELUXE ALASKA CRUISE. I am Lucybelle, 64 years old – looking for older lady who can impersonate my momma. She won a cabin with a veranda on cruise to Alaska. Sadly, she died months ago. Tall, thin, white hair with glasses. #AuditionMonday
79 YEAR OLD retired man with beautiful home on the beach looking for a kind woman: young, medium or old. If you are a humble, grateful, happy woman who likes to walk on the beach and appreciates music, let’s get together. #TiredOldGuy
START YOUR OWN CHARITY. That’s right – for a nominal fee I will set up your non-profit corporation. You can have a medical, educational or art tax-exempt status in a short period of time. I do all your filings fast. #FoundationsRUs
Irene DeBlasio, retired essayist and poet, lives in Laguna Woods.