Opinion: Pet Peeves


By George

By Mark D. Crantz

Laguna Beach schools are on the offensive when it comes to student safety. The district has hired two police officers to make sure no harm comes their way. The students and teachers appreciate their presence on campus. One officer received an award for his stellar work. The other just started

It’s scary out there.  No place is safe. I asked my wife if she wanted to see a movie.  She answered, “Is it death-worthy?”  I laughed, but then thought more about it. It’s funny, but not funny at the same time. First, you could be shot and killed at the movies. Imagine after sitting through the awful movie “Cats” and then being gunned down during the end credits. What an awful way to go. You feel like you’re dying for two hours and then you really do. And second, you’re not a cat, so you’re not coming back eight more times to try and catch a death worthy movie.

I suppose it’s a blessing in disguise that Laguna’s movie house is closed.  Lagunans are safer at home where it’s Simplisafe.” “Hey burglar, I see you out there. Go away or I’ll call the cops…move along now. The burglar holds up a large lettered sign. The homeowner says, “Oops. Sorry dear.  I just put my glasses on.  Didn’t realize you’re a Girl Scout.  Sure, I’ll buy some cookies.  Give me a minute.”

When I went to school it was safer.  You were unlikely to be shot.  However, being picked on and beat up was a 50/50 proposition. Junior high was a nightmare.  It was grades seven, eight, nine.  But in reality, it was nine, ate, seven… graders.  Back then the bad kids flunked out year after year and never left junior high until they were eighteen.   These were some big scary dudes to stay away from.

One time I walked to the school dance. Out of the bushes jumped two academically challenged students.  “Give us your money,” they said. “I don’t have any,” I answered.  “Yes, you do. You’re going to the dance. We know you got 50 cents.” I thought, geez these guys aren’t dumb. They just aren’t applying themselves in school. I said, “Well, George isn’t going to like me giving you my money.”  “You know George?”  “Yep.”  They said, “Who, are you?” I answered, “Crantz.”  They said, “Oh, Crantz.  You and your brother are the funny guys.  Sorry…go ahead.  Have fun at the dance.”

That night was pure luck. We can’t count on luck these days. I salute the school district for being proactive to protect our kids. Every child deserves a George, preferably from the right side of the law.


Crantz tells the Indy that a ninth grader taught him 12tth grade physics.  He saw his student teacher walking by the side of the road.  He wasn’t old enough to drive. Crantz gave him a ride to their National Honor Society meeting.  School was irony, at its best.

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