One Ringie Dingie
My artistic juices bubbled over after reading the Indy’s “City Seeks New Temporary Art Installation.” City officials agreed to release all residents held in detention in the Forest Avenue Red Telephone Booth Detention Center. The soon-to-be-released had disagreed over the past few years with the City Council and were denied due process by being given their one phone call in a phone booth that didn’t work. Family and friends filed missing person reports, but searches for loved ones never revealed their location due to the cramped facilities of the detention center.
“It’s a shame,” explained a police spokesperson, “There were so many residents packed in there, that family and friends could not make a positive ID even though they passed one another on a daily basis. I’d like to say we are sorry for this miscarriage of justice, but can’t until the city attorney, who we believe got swept up accidently with detainees, is released, so we can ask him what to say in the likelihood of impending civil suits brought by these detainees. Of course, outside counsel is being secured in the event the city attorney has turned into a detainee redcoat. Family and friends are advised to reunite with detainees this coming Sunday at Lower Park Plaza. City Council advises that Lower Park Plaza will remain opened to traffic at the time of the reunion.”
The City Council encourages residents to get over this minor municipal incident by sending in new creative installation ideas for the red telephone booth. “#### happens,” explains a council person. “What’s important is to let it go and get past it. Don’t forget what Laguna is about. No housing for struggling artists. That’s our heritage. Let’s not lose sight of it.” To reach out a helping hand to area artists living elsewhere, the city is requesting new artistic ideas for the now-vacated red telephone booth detention center.
Early submissions follow two divergent themes—the first depicts a Supreme Court Justice wearing a beer chuggung hat holding a handwritten minority opinion espousing moderation. The second theme shows a Supreme Court Justice sprawled on the telephone booth floor with his dignified black robe rolled up over his head holding a majority opinion that reads, “See no evil. Hear no evil. Blackout all evil.”
Other early entries have run the gambit. One early submission shows a mother-in-law on the phone exclaiming, “Now that I have a place of my own in the backyard, I’ll tell you what I think. He’s a no-good son of a #####. You could have done better.”
Another submission from the Laguna Un-Reality Association puts a for sale sign on the red telephone booth of 9 square feet for $1,299,000. The city of Laguna adds in the fine print that the starter condominium can be subsidized for city workers.
Ahh, Art imitates life. We need to find out more about Art.
Crantz tells the Indy that he is in fast pursuit of Art. Readers should draw their own conclusions until his capture.