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Who Do You Trust?

By Susan McNeal Velasquez

If asked, I bet you could easily bring to mind a number of people in your life that have your trust. If you delve a bit deeper, I am also sure that you have had the experience of trusting someone implicitly and found they didn’t deserve it.

“You are so naive.” “How could you possibly believe him/her/them?” “I’ll never trust another ____ again!” “I lied because I was too afraid of what I would lose if I told the truth.” Statements like these point to the fact that trust violations are painful and costly for all parties involved.

Ultimately, the only control you have is over your behavior. People who know themselves engender trust because they are willing to own their insecurities rather than projecting or blaming others for the challenges they encounter in life.

In order to be secure enough to own and be honest about yourself and your life, you must invest the time and energy to discover what drives you.

As children, we adopt the attitudes and beliefs of our family of origin. Those values may be solid and worthy, but it is still necessary to personally examine and then directly choose them or reject them and establish our own code of ethics based on our unique needs, desires and goals. When our learned values go unquestioned and “swallowed whole,” external forces drive our lives.

Values and needs left unexplored and unclaimed can leave you feeling inadequate. The incompatibility between your learned thoughts and your true but unexplored needs could leave you in a constant state of conflict between your thoughts and feelings.

Walking our talk requires that we intentionally discover our unique ways of seeing the world and consciously choose to establish a system of values that are congruent with our vision.

When we fully commit to core values, our thoughts and feelings can then begin to work in tandem. Conflict and confusion end because we actively take responsibility for the quality of our lives.

We choose values to live by and a code of ethics from which we can direct our lives. When we envision a life purpose that is guided by values that are current and alive with personal meaning, we exercise the muscle of personal integrity rather than operating from values that are stagnant and devoid of our authentic commitment to them.

When we are adrift without a purpose that lifts us above our insecurities, all we are left with is a formula for an erratic, confused life. When we take the time to delve under the surface of our habitual lives, we begin the process of hunting for the treasures of self-knowledge and self-trust that come from the examined life.

We can then begin to construct an authentic foundation built from a blending of our core needs, desires, dreams and values so that we can truly walk our talk.

Susan is a local author of the emotional resource book, “Beyond Intellect: Journey into the Wisdom of Your Intuitive Mind.” For more information, visit beyondintellect.com.

 

 

 

 

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