Editor:
Regarding the parents’ letter to the community about their sons’ racist actions, I think they need to learn the definition of apology before trying to make one. An apology is an expression of remorse and regret, not an opportunity to diminish responsibility.
It was disheartening to read their re-framing of an atrocious incident as a prank gone awry. In doing so, they explicitly minimized the harm done, which goes against the heart of an apology.
Perhaps the most glaring absence, though, was any acknowledgement of their own responsibility as parents. They expressed shame at being associated with the incident, but not a word about how they raised boys whose local recreation includes defacing homes and buying groceries to toss at those they want to harass, and who—most egregiously–find entertainment in racial bigotry and intimidation.
Given the self-serving statement made by these parents, it is no wonder the victimized family requested no apology.
Gregory Coben, Laguna Beach
Thank you Mr. Coben for writing this letter. This is just a fraction of the harassment the family has received from one of the mothers of these boys. Hopefully, she will take your wise words and truly learn the meaning of an apology.
Where is the leadership the Laguna Beach community needs to provide an organized approach to this trauma? I’m surprised someone in the high school (administrator, coach) hasn’t organized a community meeting perhaps at one of the local houses of worship or at the Women’s Club. There are also experts in restorative justice and other approaches to helping whole communities deal with problems such as the current racial incident. You can’t really expect the families who were involved to solve this one by themselves. Any why should they unless everyone wants to think this is an isolated incident that one way or another will be over soon. Where is the leadership Laguna Beach desperately needs at this time?
Truth and reconciliation can involve apologies and participation of victims, but it is not required. In these situations there is a right to privacy, but also a public right to address the public interest. I wrote in a comment on the first report of this incident that the parents and lawyers do not serve the students well by circling the wagons. It would have empowered the students to redeem their character and honor and integrity to come out and make a public statement about what they did and why, and tell the community what was in their hearts now that they had already told their story to the police. There is as much and sometimes even more grace for the confessor than there is for the victim who is enabled to forgive. The city and school officials who met with social workers and advisors and focused on “positive campus climate” and “student connectedness” were dealing with abstractions that adults promote for students who are not at risk. It is fine to have inspirational speakers but the does not empower kids to speak and reveal themselves to each other or the adult world. The city manger and the supt. of schools do not represent the community in these matters. There are the elected city and school leaders? Where is the leadership we needed weeks ago?
The vehicle and the implements of abuse used in the act were directly or indirectly provided by the parents of the “pranksters”.
The explanation to the parents by their children should have been condemned from the beginning as well as the act itself.
Financial compensation must be levied in order to restore justice.
In no way would this type of act be tolerated in my days at LBHS
manditory expulsion would be normal procedure back then as it should be now, citing zero tolerance for preliminary criminal behavior towards a minority member of the community.
There should be an inquiry into the school boards actions regarding this type of unsocial action in response to their decision for only one week suspension , this in my opinion sends the wrong message unless there are other private associations or arrangements between the parents and the schools administrators .