Opinion: Wisdom Workout


Get Over It

Have you ever tried to water a garden with a leaking hose? The more holes in the line, the more leakage and less water pressure out of the nozzle.

Harboring resentment has the same effect on our energy levels.

Whether you have been invested in the 2020 election or tried hiding under a rock hoping the vitriolic bombardment passes you by, the aftermath is in the air as surely as the smoke from our recent fires.

My column deadline is Tuesday so we were still in the midst of the frantic race to the finish. Resistance, resentment, and plots to take revenge dominate our airwaves. Resentment seems to be the subliminal sound track of 2020..

When we commit to the quality of our personal experience, checking for resentment leaks in our energy hose can yield useful insights.

Resentment occurs when we expect one experience and get another. We want what we want. We get what we get. We want something positive, yet what we get we perceive as negative. Anger begins to brew.

Good breeding, confusion, and/or fear of confrontation all conspire to block the energetic bubbling of our righteous indignation from immediate expression. The blocked energy settles down and finds a resting-place internally, squirreled away with other incidents of repressed anger.

Energy just is. Expecting one thing and getting another creates sadness, and/or resentment. There is a saying that depression is anger turned inward. The definitions of depress are to cause a sink to a lower position; to sadden, discourage.

When unacknowledged, unexpressed resentment stagnates, we begin to feel victimized by circumstances. Our creative energy diminishes. Our authorship of a full, rich, productive, forward-moving life takes a U-turn.

Is the answer to explode in a volcanic eruption every time our expectations are thwarted? Of course not. We like to think we are good, sane, reasonable, and hey; even nice. The image of us harboring built-up resentment that clogs our energy field is less than flattering to our egos but is extremely important to acknowledge.

Some of us have so much unresolved resentment that our energy hose looks like a Boa Constrictor that swallowed a cow. Why? Because of a lack of understanding about our true responsibility to husband the quality of our emotional lives, regardless.

Whether you find yourself on the winning or losing side of this wild election ride, you will be charged with the job of “coming back home” to tend to your current relationship with yourself and those important to you. If you are thinking: “I can’t. I just cannot get over this.” Get more honest. You can but you don’t want to right now. You want to storm, rant, gloat, indulge, fight, go silent, be sad, mad, or fill in the blank of runaway but unproductive emotions. OK. Accept your current reality until you are sick of it.

When we commit to treating ourselves with respect; kindness and gentleness can take up residence in our core as the governor of our inner healing.

When we commit to self-awareness and self-honesty, our creative energy will heal. By digging deeper, we can expose faulty motives and arrive at a clarity, unfettered by resentments and disappointments that stem from our thwarted expectations and upsets that, at the moment, are painfully real.

Through successful self-honesty we can redirect the force of our energy towards creating a full, rich and rewarding life.

Susan is a local author and leadership development consultant. susanvelasquez.com.

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