What Do You Want?
When satisfaction with our life direction diminishes and it appears that nothing meaningful is happening, doubt and confusion can start to seep into our thoughts.
“Why do I feel so stuck and stopped? What can I do to shake these feelings?” As the insistence to find answers increases, confusion and frustration begin to take center stage.
This can be a painful place to land. If stuck and directionless is taking hold, here are useful tips to jumpstart your escape.
The first question to ask yourself is: “What do I want?’ I know. That is precisely the question that got you into this mess.
The ‘What do I want?” I am asking for is very different from the question you’ve been asking yourself. Your questioning demands big and important answers.
My ‘What do you want?’ is about moment-to-moment wants. Ice cream. A nap. A comforting friend. Money. Peace. Fun. Laughter. Take off all restrictions, open the floodgates and allow anything and everything to come to mind. Write each want down fast and easy. All wants count.
Next question: “What form do you see this want taking? “What is the picture that conjures up in your mind when you think of having this want? Sometimes you will be able to get a clear mental image and sometimes not. Don’t overwork it. Simply let the imagining come to mind, if it comes easy. If not, that’s okay. Move to the next want and allow the next image to form.
So, let’s review. First you are writing down the answers to the question: “What do I want?” Next, you are taking each want and seeing an image in your mind of how it would look if you got that want.
Great. Now here comes the third and final step. Go over each want and ask yourself: “What is the specific experience I desire from this want?”
Pay close attention to your answers. We are looking for the predominant experience you desire from these wants. If you could instantly actualize each want, what experience would it bring to you? What unfulfilled need would be satisfied by having this want met? Here are some examples: Comfort. Security. Fun. Attention. Recognition. Love. Caring. Ease. Excitement. Challenge. Freedom. Whatever is true for you.
You may discover you desire a variety of experiences from your wants or you may find that all roads lead to one or two predominant experiences.
You might find you are craving the experience of safety and comfort. No matter what you want, the experience you desire ends up being more comfort and safety. This is great information because now you know that your first priority is to create more safety and comfort in your life. Put your focus there. Immediately start shifting your decision-making towards any small steps that will create more safety and comfort.
When we start berating ourselves, pushing, invalidating and negating all that we presently have in favor of looking externally for something to fill up the void inside, we reverse the flow of the wellspring of support that is ours for the asking. Nothing new can get in until we relax enough to accept the gifts that are offered to us. Our creative guidance will surface as soon as we soften our grip and let go of lusting after outcomes that we rigidly think will give us what we want.
Take steps to uncover and meet your predominant needs and you will find you will be back in touch with the core you. From that vantage point your life can unfold gently, softly and on schedule. You and life joined together as co-creators once again.
Susan is a local author of Beyond Intellect: Journey Into the Wisdom of Your Intuitive Mind. Reach her at: beyondintellect.com.View Our User Comment Policy