Wisdom Workout


The Fulfillment Factor

By Susan Velasquez

Have you noticed that if you attempt to care deeply about everyone and everything, you end up stretched so thin that you become brittle, numb and overwhelmed?

On the other hand, if you decide to live within a closed, overly protective attitude, your wellspring of curiosity, positive anticipation, and willingness to engage, dries up? From there it is an easy slide into stagnant mental and emotional rigidity, until you still end up, brittle, numb and disengaged.

When we are consistently traveling in the fast lane with our gas pedal to the metal, or, have become too isolated and unsure of how to intelligently increase our involvement and commitment, it may be time to evaluate how to bring more fulfillment into our lives.

Given the demands on our time and our energy reserves, we are talking about a common dilemma expressed as a sense of being out of balance.

It is a mighty challenge to create a balanced life. It requires an ability to discriminate when our lives require a yes or a no, when it is time to reach out and love more generously, and also cultivating the self-worth and self-respect to say yes and no without endlessly second-guessing ourselves. These are such important attributes that to lack them is to be locked within ourselves, paradoxically incapable of either love or indifference.

Let’s explore the answers to a few questions that are designed to increase clarity on how to bring more balance into our lives.

Is it time to reach out and explore new directions? Do you need to stretch out of your comfort zone so that you can bring in more experiences that will stimulate new opportunities? Are you being called to open up and express some of your deeper longings and desires, at least to yourself?

Do you need to let down, let go and lighten up so that increased happiness can find its way into your life?

Is there someone that you are holding a grudge against? Are you blocking your ability to let love flow through your life? Have you stopped life’s magic from touching you because of frozen feelings and unexamined negative notions clogging up your mind and heart?

Taking advantage of this opportunity to assess where you are right now and also choosing what experiences you want to attract and what first steps you can take to actualize your new directions, is enough to begin the process of transformation. All it takes is one clear decision and one intentional action that is solely chosen and decided on, to begin a new chapter that marries your ability to lead a successful external life and a fulfilling inner experience.

Here are some examples to spark your imagination. I am open and receptive to wonder and delight. I am cherished and cherishing. I am safe and secure. I am doing the best I can with what I currently have available. I am opening to new experiences. I am willing to extend myself. I am taking excellent care of myself. I am allowing myself to say no without feeling guilty. I am conserving my energy by creating some quiet time for myself.

Your individualized one-pointed focus will anchor you to your inner core. This opens your connection to your intuitive wisdom and guidance. It gives you clear direction on what to say yes to and when to decline, guided by your self-knowledge.

Be realistic about what you care about and what you don’t care about. The trick is to honor your yes’s, honor your no’s, and refrain from making what you don’t care about wrong. Making believe that you care about everything is simply an immature image management technique to give us permission to avoid being honest with ourselves.

Give yourself the gift of increased self-respect by listening to, honoring and caring for yourself so that you can genuinely extend your best self to others.


Susan McNeal Velasquez writes and facilitates on-going self-growth groups locally and is the author of BEYOND INTELLECT: Journey Into the Wisdom of Your Intuitive Mind. Contact her at: susanvelasquez.com or (949) 494-7773.

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